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Curly

Deadly Dads

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Curly

Article here in the DVRC newsletter from issue two of 2009.

This was something I feared when I left x. The threats he made were subtle but made the last time I spoke to him. The same day I told him that after two months away from him I was not ever coming back.

He brought up the topic that had been in the news around that time where there had been two different instances where fathers had killed themselves and their children during access. He told me he understood those men doing that. I did take it as a threat. The way he said it chilled me to the bone.

I was afraid enough to warn my boys then 13 and 14 to trust their gut and get away anyway they could if they felt something off with their dad's behaviour. I did not think x would have the ability or strength to overcome the boys but I did think he could well do something like drive into a tree with the boys in the car. For that reason I also asked them to not go in the car with him. I do think that he encouraged some dangerous activities in the hope that harm would come of it but it is only speculation on my part. I do not know what was or is in x's mind and he chose to put me on silent treatment from the day of that last call.

I think there are many others who are afraid and with good reason. Sadly for the most part the courts give benefit of doubt to the dad and children are ordered to be handed over for access to the dad who kills them. Even women who report that the man has threatened to kill the children are not taken seriously and are in fact often penalised for trying to keep their children safe.

The system is wrong and flawed.

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TimsGirl

My experience is exactly that. Was called every name under the sun by "neutral" court officials for trying to protect my daughter from a convicted abuser.

My ex only ever made vague threats - the "if you don't give me what I want, you'll never see our daughter ever again". But the sociopath he shacked up with made very direct threats to harm my daughter repeatedly

But apparently if someone sleeps with your husband, you must be the big bad guy and are trying to get them, while they must be so sweet and innocent and would never ever hurt someone (or threaten to).

If you report your ex's mistress has been threatening your child, even if they are known to CPS for having abused their own child badly and for having a serious personality disorder, then you're the one who gets punished.

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