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Fighting Rules

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Fighting Rules

Use "I" statements.

No slapping, punching, pushing, grabbing, etc.

No swearing, denunciation, obscenities, character assassination, contempt, sarcasm, or taunting.

Only two people argue; all outsiders do not join in.

One partner talks two minutes and the other is quiet for two minutes and than the other partner talks their two minutes (no interruptions).

Stay on the subject. (Not personalities i.e. "you're just like your mother.")

Do not talk about anything that happened before--only the present subject, not the past.

Do not assume, guess, imagine, take for granted, theorize, surmise, speculate, make gestures, judgments, funny glances or faces about what your partner means. Find out!

Say what you feel. Don't assume the other knows what you feel, want, need, or what you mean.

No belittling each other's accomplishments.

Both always have equal rights.

No interrupting, switching, or changing the subject.

No manipulating.

Give each other the ability to withdraw or change their mind.

No criticizing or humiliating.

No putting undo pressure on the other.

No ranting and raving.

No intimidating or bullying.

Speak softly.

No getting angry (yelling or exploding).

Don't make one feel guilty (no guilt trips).

No martyrdom.

No discussion while either one of you is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Be kind and courteous.

Use "I" Statements

Source: http://www.faribault.k12.mn.us/data/files/..._Rules_List.pdf

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