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6245

Text message red flags?

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6245

A guy I have seen a few times sent me both of these within the past two days.  Are these red flaggy to anyone or is it just me overanalyzing?  I think he is trying to be 'funny' but to me it sent up red flags.  I am trying to be objective though.  They read:

"I saw a picture of one of Trump's non-Stormy Daniels Playmate buddies.  She looked an awful lot like a less attractive version of you.  I think that the Cheeto-in-chief might dig you as much as I do." 

I mean...is that supposed to be a compliment?  Is he seriously comparing me to a playmate buddy?

The next one says, "I am  not sure if my last email got eaten by a spam filter somewhere.  I am trying to be attentive (cut...).  I would feel bad if El Cheeto Supremo pulled off a Leda and the Swan."  I asked him what the heck that even was and he said it was "a Zeus sexual harassment myth." 

 

Is this red-flaggy to anyone else?

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Quaddie

Umm.... ewwww????  YUCK

Very disrespectful and just plain weird and ewww. 

You know - if you don't like something, you don't need someone else's opinion or validation that it's not overanalyzing, for it to be wrong for you. You just not liking it, is enough for you to say "Nuh-uh, I don't want to deal with this, buh-bye."

Just not being comfortable with something - even if nobody else sees anything "wrong" - is enough.

But this is yucky. Not sure if it's red-flaggy of anything abusive but it's just EWWW. And .... Ewwww.

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6245
17 minutes ago, Quaddie said:

Umm.... ewwww????  YUCK

Very disrespectful and just plain weird and ewww. 

You know - if you don't like something, you don't need someone else's opinion or validation that it's not overanalyzing, for it to be wrong for you. You just not liking it, is enough for you to say "Nuh-uh, I don't want to deal with this, buh-bye."

Just not being comfortable with something - even if nobody else sees anything "wrong" - is enough.

But this is yucky. Not sure if it's red-flaggy of anything abusive but it's just EWWW. And .... Ewwww.

Why do you say very disrespectful?

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Quaddie
1 hour ago, 6245 said:

"I saw a picture of one of Trump's non-Stormy Daniels Playmate buddies.  She looked an awful lot like a less attractive version of you.  I think that the Cheeto-in-chief might dig you as much as I do." 

Disrespectful in:

* Comparing you to a po rn star - and assuming you would be flattered by that.

* Saying that the president would enjoy having sexual relations with you - and also, assuming that would somehow be flattering to you, and not objectifying and gross. If I reword that to, "I think that Random Man might want to sex you as much as I want to sex you" <- doesn't that seem extremely disrespectful to you?

 

1 hour ago, 6245 said:

The next one says, "I am  not sure if my last email got eaten by a spam filter somewhere.  I am trying to be attentive (cut...).  I would feel bad if El Cheeto Supremo pulled off a Leda and the Swan."  I asked him what the heck that even was and he said it was "a Zeus sexual harassment myth." 

His "attentiveness" is in comparing you to a po rn star and telling you that other people might want to have sex with you.   Also, I'm not understanding his reference either but it seems very strange.

 

ALL this is VERY off-the-wall, strange and disrespectful.  

I'd recommend just blocking him or telling him you won't see him anymore and blocking him, or whatever. This is VERY strange and disgusting and disrespectful and yuck. And objectifying. And too weird to even consider as anything near normal.

 

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6245
1 hour ago, Quaddie said:

Disrespectful in:

* Comparing you to a po rn star - and assuming you would be flattered by that.

* Saying that the president would enjoy having sexual relations with you - and also, assuming that would somehow be flattering to you, and not objectifying and gross. If I reword that to, "I think that Random Man might want to sex you as much as I want to sex you" <- doesn't that seem extremely disrespectful to you?

 

His "attentiveness" is in comparing you to a po rn star and telling you that other people might want to have sex with you.   Also, I'm not understanding his reference either but it seems very strange.

 

ALL this is VERY off-the-wall, strange and disrespectful.  

I'd recommend just blocking him or telling him you won't see him anymore and blocking him, or whatever. This is VERY strange and disgusting and disrespectful and yuck. And objectifying. And too weird to even consider as anything near normal.

 

Oh yes I do see that about the disrespectfulness.  It did feel objectifyimg to me even though I think he was trying to be “funny.”

The wierdness for sure.  At best.

Thank you for the thoughts.

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Quaddie

Start to trust your instincts. If it feels off - don't worry about the why's. Your feeling is good enough.

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whitebutterfly11

Yeah, for me it would be a red flag.

Even if we classified this as "trying too hard" to make jokes/compliments/etc., it still comes across as crass, and plain off. 

There are hundreds of ways to even underhandedly compliment a person without resorting to his bizarre language and comparisons.

Hundreds.

If somewhere in all of that he was trying to tell you something "nice", it was buried beneath a whole bunch of unnecessary jokes/phrasing and unless a person really gets his humor, it would be a headache trying to decipher what he means all of the time.

Yeah, I don't think I could feel comfortable being around a person like that. It would raise concerns, especially about how he REALLY thinks and what his motives REALLY are, if he has to resort to this type of language to tell you something as simple as: "I think you're beautiful". Seems like when we care about someone, compliments and feelings are expressed in a natural, simple kind of way. 

(((HUGS)))

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Bennu

It's objectifying. The only compliments that he can think of have to do with other men finding you as sexually attractive as he does. That's a big red flag. My ex used to talk about how all men only think about having sex with a women and couldn't be platonic friends. I don't think that's all men. It's abusive men.

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6245
2 hours ago, whitebutterfly11 said:

Yeah, for me it would be a red flag.

Even if we classified this as "trying too hard" to make jokes/compliments/etc., it still comes across as crass, and plain off. 

There are hundreds of ways to even underhandedly compliment a person without resorting to his bizarre language and comparisons.

Hundreds.

If somewhere in all of that he was trying to tell you something "nice", it was buried beneath a whole bunch of unnecessary jokes/phrasing and unless a person really gets his humor, it would be a headache trying to decipher what he means all of the time.

Yeah, I don't think I could feel comfortable being around a person like that. It would raise concerns, especially about how he REALLY thinks and what his motives REALLY are, if he has to resort to this type of language to tell you something as simple as: "I think you're beautiful". Seems like when we care about someone, compliments and feelings are expressed in a natural, simple kind of way. 

(((HUGS)))

Yes, crass is a good word.  He can sometimes seem to have depth but other times things like this really bother me.  It seems to be a pattern with him so I should probably cut it off.

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Fluffyflea

Tell him to F Off. Block him he's a dickhead.

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AZ-home

LOL!!!! Hahaha! Where's that LIKE button?

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Kanga

Yes block him, the sooner the better.

It's hard when someone keeps giving mixed messages. So accept it as horribly messed up and remove him from your life. 

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lizzibethak

All......................Leda and the Swan, at it's core, is oral sex between Zeus, (male swan) and Leda (female goddess).............

So............this guy is looking for a hook-up not a relationship........................

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AZ-home

So he's a well read perv.

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Quaddie

I'd suggest putting some thought into where you're finding these guys because a lot of them seem very base and slimy. Maybe the channel(s) that's delivering these types to you isn't the best to look for prospective partners.

Respect yourself enough to expect to be treated like a lady, with respect. Not in a "fake" way but someone who has genuine respect. 

Remember not to weigh good things against bad. The bad things are  enough. You don't need to make allowances or settle for someone who's sometimes kinda ok, or part of the time deeper. How they treat you is of utmost importance.

 

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6245
6 hours ago, Quaddie said:

I'd suggest putting some thought into where you're finding these guys because a lot of them seem very base and slimy. Maybe the channel(s) that's delivering these types to you isn't the best to look for prospective partners.

Respect yourself enough to expect to be treated like a lady, with respect. Not in a "fake" way but someone who has genuine respect. 

Remember not to weigh good things against bad. The bad things are  enough. You don't need to make allowances or settle for someone who's sometimes kinda ok, or part of the time deeper. How they treat you is of utmost importance.

 

I am meeting most of them online.  The two or three men I have gone out with from "IRL" have honestly, not been much better.  I am plenty active and do plenty of things but most of the time there aren't single men in my age bracket there, or there aren't men there at all.

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6245

Also, he told me he was "a bit of a nervous person sometimes, and was vaguely concerned I had run off with (celebrity name)" when I didn't reply quickly to an email he sent me.  Does this show controlling/anxious tendencies?

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Quaddie

It shows weird in a bad way, and rings to me flaggy of the controlling jealous type. Bad news.

 

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Quaddie

Maybe a different type of site, to meet them, though. Some might be better than others.

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6245
7 minutes ago, Quaddie said:

Maybe a different type of site, to meet them, though. Some might be better than others.

I am using one of the best paid sites.  So far the controlling men have been religious.  I'm religious myself and so would consider this worldview; however, so far they have been the wierdest ones and I am finding myself steering clear of them the longer I date.

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6245
9 minutes ago, Quaddie said:

It shows weird in a bad way, and rings to me flaggy of the controlling jealous type. Bad news.

 

Yeah, me too.  Because he is apparently quite insecure; and that usually means controlling.

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Quaddie

He already showed controlling by being dissatisfied with the speed of a reply to an email. So yes, controlling.

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AZ-home

You don't respond to an email quickly enough and he "jokes" that you ran off with a celebrity!? Yikes!!!! He SAYS he's joking but in a year or so when the lighthearted flirty stage is over this will be a SERIOUS conversation about his REAL thoughts. And this is what my ex did. We all had to answer his calls immediately to keep from enraging him. I set a really loud ringtone because I missed some of his calls because I didn't hear it ring. He didn't accept that answer and a fight ensued. I notice my son also set a loud ringtone for his dad. Poor kid. He's living in my hell. Take it from me. This won't be funny in the future. It's a major red flag in my opinion. 

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AZ-home

Jinx Quaddie.

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