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Kanga

New partner for abusive ex. Tell her?

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Kanga

My ex is getting serious with a new woman. She seems great. Has fun with the kids. Should I tell her the ugly facts, given the chance?

If she leaves he'll just find someone else who might not be good with the kids. 

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Quaddie

Would she believe you? 

If someone had approached you in that same point in your relationship with him, would you have trusted her over what you were experiencing?

She'll tell him, and then he'll spin it as you being so crazy.

You cannot control whether she leaves or stays, no matter what. 

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Kanga

I'm going to stay well out of it. And hope if she finds out and leaves him, that he doesn't jump to assuming I said something. I've not met her. 

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Fluffyflea

No, stay out of it. He'll make you out to be the crazy one.

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AZ-home

He has already slandered you so badly she won't listen. Then the two of them get to discuss how crazy you are acting and possibly tell this to the kids. It can only make you look bad. I think the ONLY exception would be if SHE came to YOU and asked sincerely. Even then I think I would give a short version of the truth for fear she will go back to him and tell him what you said. 

She is a big girl and gets to make her own decisions. Hopefully, she will see through his shenanigans and if not, maybe she likes the abusive types. It's not your job to save her. 

This is how I think if the women my ex dates. Heaven help them! 

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lizzibethak

Before my X left, I scammed his tablet and his messages to "her"..................I didn't recognize me!!!  I was an unappreciative b**** who had broken his heart and all sorts of stuff.  If I said "no" to going out to dinner with him, I must have "anger issues".........and besides that he told "her" that it was all he could do to not gag when he had to spend time with me anyway........

 

So there you go...............this is what he's saying behind your back............you will have NO defense and look like an unstable, angry, imbalanced person.  As much as you would like to give her a "heads up", she will have to find out on her own.

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Fluffyflea

Mine has an F.B acct under a different last name. He's probably told people it's because I'll stalk him or something.

What it really is is his addiction to living multi lives and screwing and scamming so many people.

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Melinoe

I was sort of "warned" as the new partner when I was dating my now-ex abuser. But like others have said, he had slandered this previous partner so much that I totally wrote her off as just insanely jealous and mentally disturbed. 

 

You make a good point in that if you did say something, he could easily blame you for poisoning her against him. It's smart of you to not interfere.

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