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hoping

What's Happening In My Life

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hoping

I finally got to the point where I was ready to leave even though I knew it could be painful and difficult. I told my husband two or three times that I wanted a divorce. The last time he started taking me serious. He promised again to treat me better. Since that time he has been trying very hard to treat me better. I would like to say he has changed his mind about  a lot of things but I can't say that. What I can say is that he decided that if he doesn't treat me better and with more respect I will leave him. I know this is not the best outcome but to me it is a lot better than it was before. It bothers me to think that he may still believe he has the right or a good reason to treat me abusive but it hurt a lot more when he voiced his abuse to me. I think I see one or two things that he is believing different about but I'm not even completely sure about that. Anyway, what I am saying is that I am still in a relationship with him. We now try to walk away when angry or discuss things. Sometimes I choose to walk away and cry and other times I speak my mind. I had almost quit crying when I felt hurt but now I am not afraid if he sees me cry. I feel strong enough to cry and if he still treats me bad I will chalk that up to a strike against him and continue my plans to leave. He apologizes, I apologize when I think I am wrong and we try to talk about how we feel. I have told him how felt about him and his abuse and how I am who I am and that I like me. I am not perfect but I expect respect whether he thinks I deserve it or not.  I still see my friends and go out with them and I do some things with him. I now realize that I am not crazy because I don't agree or understand his perspective of life. Him being confident about his beliefs doesn't make me wrong. He can be confident all he wants, I still believe I am right about a lot of things. Even though I do have obsessive compulsive disorder and bipolar, I have more intuition about how to treat others than he does. I like myself, I accept who I am and I am still working on the things about myself I don't like. I think I'm a pretty good person and I am a lot happier than I have been in a long time. I want to say again thank all of you for your advise and help. You have validated me when I needed it and helped me to feel stronger because I knew you believed like I did about abuse and that there was nothing wrong with me. I felt your support and strength even though you weren't here in person and that helped me too feel stronger because I wasn't alone. Thank you for that. Hugs to you all

My husband and I have been together for around 40 years and until recently and with your help I wasn't strong enough and didn't have the knowledge to get to where I am now. I feel good....

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Quaddie
13 hours ago, hoping said:

I am not perfect but I expect respect whether he thinks I deserve it or not.  I still see my friends and go out with them and I do some things with him. I now realize that I am not crazy because I don't agree or understand his perspective of life. Him being confident about his beliefs doesn't make me wrong

That sounds really great, Hoping. I'm glad you feel better.

 

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hoping

Quaddie

Thank you and I hope your life is getting better. Hugs

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Over and Out

I sincerely hope this means things will be better for you.  

I love that the people here at Our Place are here for you whether you stay or go.  I know I am happy to be here and support you either way.

Wishing all the best for you.

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Bennu

I'm wishing you the best, hoping.

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hoping

Over and Out

Thank you so much.

 

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hoping

Bennu

Thank you, I appreciate it.

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