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Over and Out

Here we go: divorce

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Over and Out

It has been over twelve months since X and I separated, so I am now eligible for a divorce under Australian law.  D18 has turned 18, so X can't try to make things more difficult due to D18's mental illness.  

I am signing the divorce documents with a JP witness in the next few days and will serve them next week.

I don't need to make applications about property or children to get a divorce here.  The divorce (legal end of the marriage) can be granted so long as there are reasonable arrangements in place for the welfare of any children.  There does not need to be a hearing or orders about children or property for a divorce order, if the kids are OK.

Hoever, the next step after I file for divorce will very likely be filing for property orders, if X will not come to a reasonable settlement.

I know the excrement will hit the fan when I serve X even with the divorce application. He keeps telling people (mostly his family and D15) that we will probably get back together, despite me saying that it will not happen.

Wish me luck!

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Quaddie

Best of luck to you

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percolate

Good luck!  I'm glad your daughter is 18 so you don't have to deal with custody, visitation and support issues. 

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Over and Out
On 1 January 2018 at 4:38 AM, percolate said:

Good luck!  I'm glad your daughter is 18 so you don't have to deal with custody, visitation and support issues. 

Unfortunately, my youngest child is still only 15, but fortunately our (Australian) legal system deals with those issues separately to the divorce.

My concern about D18 was that X would try to make her life difficult due to her having been suicidal.  D15 doesn't have the same mental health issues, so our courts would basically follow her wishes, so long as she is in no danger or difficulties.  We have no orders etc, so she just refuses to see X if he acts like a jerk.  Child support here is administered through a government department that follows legislative formulas, so X can't make that too difficult.

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Over and Out

I arranged service of my divorce application the other day.  He refused to actually take the documents, stating a mistaken belief that not touching the papers would make service ineffective.  My server left them with him in accordance with our court's service requirements, told him what they were and told him that they had complied with service requirements.

He did ask whether this meant no reconciliation.  I told him there would be no getting back together.  I have never, ever done or said anything to indicate that I would ever go back to him. I have consistently indicated it would not happen.  Emotionally abusive people (who are quite possibly narcissists in this case) really do re-write reality around their own wishes.

He has texted the kids about how mean I am, but has otherwise left them, and me, alone.  That's about as good as I could have expected.

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Quaddie
10 hours ago, Over and Out said:

He did ask whether this meant no reconciliation.  

I actually snorted out loud when I read that.

They truly are very ....special...aren't they...

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Over and Out

Apparently I am being Not Spoken To, again.

X came to get our daughter.  He was extra friendly to our dog and D15, but did his old look directly at me then ignore me, when I asked a question.

And he wonders why I filed for divorce and am not seeking a reconciliation.  So glad I don't have to live with his contempt and other abuse any more.

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Quaddie

echthros literally treated me as if I wasn't there (of course, that was his modus operandi, anyway, for the most part). No eye contact, no looking at me, never showed up on-time, but rather hours late for tradeoffs...   some way to show what a catch we've left, huh...

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Over and Out

That sounds awful.

I think X wants to make it clear that he is ignoring me on purpose.  It's so childish.

Definitely shows what we're not missing at all!

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Appletree

I have found that even when you spell it out multiple times in the most black and white way possible, the message still doesn't get through because they don't want to hear it.  

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