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Pi=3.14

Twisted Abuse

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Pi=3.14

When the person you trusted for so long and was the only one to turn to, literally made you lose your mind.  When being abused in all forms day in & day out; and you finally break and you lose your mind.  Actually, just lose your mind.  To a point where you would do anything just to escape.

Then finally, if you are lucky enough, you get way and you are so damaged, you don't know whom to trust or how to repair the damaged they caused.

Anyone every been there?

 

Me - 19 years ago.

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Curly

I believe many of us have been there. 17 years ago I got out and started to discover how much of me had been destroyed and how warped my view of myself had become. I also realised how much harm had been done to my kids as well.

Finding self again is definitely a process that can take years.

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Pi=3.14

Thank you for taking the time to reply and I agree with you whole hardheartedly.  I will say it took me close to ten years to feel like "myself" again and during that time, I had to shed all the "knowledge" if you will, of what they instilled in me and how I was perceiving the world through all those years that I suffered.

I will say it is such a change and scary too, to come out of it and realise all that you knew or had been told was not the truth. Very freeing, indeed but also very scary as well.  

During the time with my abuser, I thought I was honestly loosing my mind.  

I am so glad that you were able to get out of it, you are a strong person and especially to have come through it and out the other-side.

Again, thank you for taking the time to reply and for sharing and thank you again to all whomever created this website and the people within it.  Together we are able to keep our heads above water.  xx

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Curly

This forum was set up in 2008 by a group of people who had been admins from another forum that no longer exists. Only three of us are still active here now. Others have moved on in their lives with different priorities. We are all survivors. When setting Our Place up the main thing we had going for us was that we had already been running a similar group plus we had the backing and support of many people who followed us to Our Place.

My abuser had me believing I was invisible, totally useless and stupid with nothing to offer this world. It was this community from the previous forum that helped me understand that the beliefs he had instilled in my brain were wrong.

Through Our Place and it's predecessor I have met (many in real life and many more only in cyber space) some of the most amazing men and women anyone could hope to know.

I wish you well. xx

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Pi=3.14

Thank you so much for sharing this with me.  My abuser was very similar.  He has me all twisted up, I got the tears and the sorries and all that muck until one day they just stop coming and all I was getting was everything he poured upon me.  He made me feel insane, useless, worthless, like I was nothing but an object to be used up till there was nothing left and phoey near that is exactly what happened.  My turning point was when he strung me up and almost ended my life and under the cover of night, I ran and never looked back.

It took me a long time to understand I didn't miss him, I missed the idea I wanted him to be.  I missed what I knew. I missed all the things that made my daily life; a routine of sorts.  Years of head doctors and some time and space I made it to the other side.  Everyone on here is brave, no matter what.  They fact that they come here and speak about it openly only proves as much.  

So to everyone on this sight, no matter what you are #strong and we are all #StrongerTogether.  Thank you for having the courage to come forward and tell your story.

And to the people that started this site who has Curly said, understood how to do it due to previous experience.  Together we can make a change.  We are all taking our first of many steps forward and there is nothing more amazing than that. 

XXX to you all.

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Bennu

I miss the illusion that my abuser created to represent himself. I don't miss him one bit.

I literally thought I had lost my memory due to a medical condition. It was not that. He kept telling me that things happened that hadn't happened and things that had happened hadn't. The brain operates on information given to it. My brain stopped trusting it's ability to remember since it was getting false feedback. Away from him for 2 years and it's much better but still not all there. When I get anxious I still lose it. Calm I have a fantastic memory like I used to. How did I let him make me lose confidence in myself to such a great degree? I don't think that it occurred to me that he would be lying about everything. Your significant other should be truthful, right?

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