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hoping

Update on Tension

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hoping

Well my boundary on sex didn't last very long. I gave in after he kept telling me that I was just as bad as him. It was me believing it at first and also the pressure I felt from him going through the house sad and unhappy. I don't like being around someone that is upset with me like that. It is different from being around him when he is upset about the car or bills. It is a different type of stress I feel.  I don't know how long it would have last since I gave in but if I had to guess It could be a long time. I am going to continue to work on finding my own place. He is being super nice to me now. It is great to have him acting nice to me whether he means it or not. I wonder how long it will last. I don't know how many more times I will have sex before I tell him again that I'm not going to anymore. I want to live by myself so unless things get really bad I am waiting and planning on getting my own place. I have been feeling really tired and sleeping a lot. I also have been using sleep to stay away form him. I am already dreading when he ask me again. I don't see a way to live by myself at this time without going to a shelter and I don't think they will take me because I am not physically abused. if I tell him no, then I will feel stress from his actions, If I say yes, then I will feel like a prostitute, maybe angry and depressed. I am tired of pretending things are ok. 

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Melinoe

Is there a domestic assault hotline in your area you can call? You can explain your situation to them and ask for their advice on what to do. Maybe they know more about the shelter rules and can tell you if you'd be welcome.

Like, does a person have to "prove" they are abused to stay in a shelter?? For real?? 

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Quaddie

Hoping, you know best what to do to stay the course until you can get on your own and free.

If you get to see a lawyer, you may find out your financial situation could be better than you might think. I hope you can find out your rights soon, and also how to regain your own financial conservatorship.

I'm sorry you felt forced into giving in. :(  There will be a light at the end of the tunnel...   Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

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hoping

Melinoe

I read that I had to be physically assaulted but I could call them and make sure. Thanks for the advice.

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hoping

Quaddie

Thank you for the encouragement. I still have plans to work toward getting my conservatorship and I am also going to check on another place I might want to live. I hope to take some steps on those two things this week. 

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