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Remind me that it's ok to feel happy about my new future

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As I'm waiting to leave, I am going back and forth between thinking I'm nuts for going, and knowing I need to.  Every once in a while, I feel very happy, thinking about my new future, the promise of things to come.  And then, almost immediately, I feel guilty for being happy, like I'm doing something wrong, and should be ashamed, or at the very least sad and heartbroken.  

Its okay to feel happy, right?  It's okay to take my share of the family assets and go live a life that I want, right?  It's okay to look forward to a life of my choosing, and to feel relief and joy and hope, right? 

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Melinoe

It is so right and natural and proper for you to enjoy your life in any and every way you can!!! ❤❤❤

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Fluffyflea

Yes.

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Quaddie

Your life is yours. Living in abusive situations "programs" you into feeling like you are there to serve others, like you are not an autonomous, independent being who has rights to her own life and choices and desires.

The guilt and feeling like you "should feel" ashamed is a result of being programmed to other people's expectations over your own.

This stuff can take practice to internalize, but it does get better. ;)

It's definitely okay to think about your future and feel hopeful and happy about it! That's normal and that's what humans do. :D 

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Over and Out
5 hours ago, Quaddie said:

Your life is yours. Living in abusive situations "programs" you into feeling like you are there to serve others, like you are not an autonomous, independent being who has rights to her own life and choices and desires.

The guilt and feeling like you "should feel" ashamed is a result of being programmed to other people's expectations over your own.

This stuff can take practice to internalize, but it does get better. ;)

It's definitely okay to think about your future and feel hopeful and happy about it! That's normal and that's what humans do. :D 

As usual, Quaddie is wise.

Remember: it is OK to feel what you feel.  

Feeling happy to get away from abuse is good and healthy.

While it might be normal to grieve the relationship you wished you could have had, it is also very normal to feel free and happy to leave the actual bad relationship that existed instead of the one you had hoped for, but didn't get.

Enjoy your happy new life!

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whitebutterfly11

Yes, happiness is what you are made to have! It is your right. 

Fight for it with all of your heart!

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