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Kanga

Loving life

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Kanga

I've been separated now for 5 months. Today I was relaxing in the sun with my kids. We were all eating icy poles. I felt so free of anxiety. I was thinking how previously in my life I didn't allow myself to do what I liked much at all. The self discipline was OTT. At the moment I'm focused only on the present because I can't deal with any more than that and I'm not worrying so much. It's great. It's like a gift I've given to myself - to just focus on enjoying my life right now. I can give that to myself because I know it's the best thing for me right now. I just can't take on any worrying and stress. 

It's so new to me. I'm surprised how strengthening it is to relax! I'm confident I will be able to take on more in the future and this change in my attitude will help not hinder that. I think previously I was scared of making mistakes or not doing everything well and remembering everything. I didn't want to drop the ball. But now I realise stressing like that didn't make it work. Our marriage was a big failure. I guess that experience has taught me to let go a bit and stress less. Trying to be perfect is a waste of energy and very bad for my health. And it doesn't free me from disappointment and regret and loss and conflict because negative experiences will happen despite all my efforts to avoid them. It then comes down to accepting those experiences with courage.  

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Kanga

Today I told someone that I am separated from my husband and she said that I'm looking great and how being separated really agrees with me. I felt wonderful that she said that. I do feel good being out and not having to deal with all his nastiness. I'm so glad I don't have to try to understand him anymore. I don't have to try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm no longer in denial and covering for his abuse. Getting away from him felt like something I wasn't allowed to do. It feels good to have done it. And now I wonder how I came to believe I had to stay. 

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Bennu

Great response. People tend to tell me that they are sorry.

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percolate

I remember people telling me that I looked and seemed a lot happier after I left my xh. I know that I felt better and not having to deal with his behavior made life a lot pleasanter.  And it seemed to show.

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6245

About a year after I left my H, my counselor told me I looked very happy. 

Edit: two years, sorry.  Two years after.

 

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Breno Cardoso Barbosa

I can feel your happiness only with your children. That is good hear who survived their struggles. God bless you more! You deserve PEACE.

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