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hoping

Angry at the same things

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hoping

Do you care about what I want?

Do you realize I have wants?

Are you so busy thinking about yourself that you don't think about me?

I'm tired of being left out. I'm repeating some of what I have said before. We loaned our daughter some money to buy a home. My husband is very conservative with money, which can be good sometimes. I have been married to him for a long time and we have never had much money, but got buy. I was hoping later that we would have more so I could do some things and buy some things. Well we got everything paid off. I didn't really want to loan our daughter to help her get a home, but I did. I thought that we would still have money to put in new carpet and new linoleum or whatever in our home. Well, him being conservative, he won't even repair the floors like I want them. We had a leak from a dishwasher and now we need to repair part of the kitchen floor. He is feeling better, but doesn't seem to be in any hurry to repair it. He has mentioned it, but hasn't yet. He won't pay anyone to repair it because that would cost more money. We still have a some money, but he doesn't want to spend anything, because we may need it later. Maybe this is a good thing. If he repairs it and he still treats me abusive, which I'm sure he will, then it won't make that much difference. I will just have a nicer place to be abused in. Also the money will be spent on the floors instead of me getting some of it. It still makes me angry though. It makes me angry he is like this. He doesn't seem that concerned if we have a nice looking home or furniture. He said he is not that worried about getting all of the money back we loaned our daughter. I wouldn't be either, if he would think of me too. He is real conservative, but doesn't mind giving her a couple thousand. He won't even repair the bathroom floor like I want it, or spend money on a used couch because he thinks it is not important to him. What about me!!!!! It makes me so.... mad. Why am I expecting him to treat me better or different when he is an abuser? Why do I still keep hoping after all of this time? I am going to take a step I felt sad to do. I still love him and it is difficult for me to want to leave. He has treated me abusive and I still love him. One step, one step..... I need to do it while I'm still mad, so I won't feel so sad. The anger helps.

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clurichaun

It's hard to make anyone understand why we still feel love but you need to love yourself. if anyone else you knew described this situation to you what would you tell them to do? *hugs* good luck

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hoping

clurichaum

Thank you for your reply. I know what you are saying. Right now, I just can't see myself from that angle. Hugs

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