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Vampydoll

Trapped like a rat!

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Vampydoll

Does anyone ever feel trapped like a rat that just can't get out of its cage no matter how hard you try?

All plans for peace and quiet are ruined

All freedom for a quiet day of tranquility is ruined

All ideas of shopping for things we love like shoes, handbags, makeup, are ruined.

What kind of life is this? I am sick to death of it.

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percolate

I understand feeling sick of not being able to do the things you'd like to do and being forced to live with chaos.

What would you like to change? And can you do something for yourself today that gives you some joy? Read for 30 minutes, take a long undisturbed shower or bath, take a walk by yourself, listen to music you enjoy, etc. None of these things won't solve the problem, but might give you a little peace and tranquillity.

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Vampydoll

I like to be alone mostly. I suffer from Migraines. It's nice just to have the TV off and listen to the quiet.

I like to drive out somewhere and put my feet in the water, I like to shop for makeup (used to a makeup artist for Estee Lauder) and I like to shop for shoes, bags, jeans,, etc.

Whenever I get the chance to be alone, which is rare, I do this. But most of the time he goes to the mall with me and believe me, it is no fun at all. I can't buy anything. He doesn't even allow me to look at anything. Always says I have too much shoes or whatever it is that gives me joy.

I love Swarovski crystal jewelry too. There have been times when he hasn't allowed me to even WALK in the store. Certain people I know he doesn't even want me to talk to. Cant really have any friends.

Recently my hairdresser and I decided to try to get me some hair extensions. We had a big fight about it when I got home. He said I didn't need them and would know how to put them in, like I am absolutely stupid or something.

It seems everytime there is something that makes me happy, he throws cold water on it. Nothing like raining on somebody's parade if you you know what I mean.

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Bennu

It seems everytime there is something that makes me happy, he throws cold water on it. Nothing like raining on somebody's parade if you you know what I mean.

Eeyore is like that too. They have to ruin anything that gives you pleasure.

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Vampydoll

Bennu: why is it like that? I don't understand because if something makes someone happy, at least in my case, I've always been supportive. Even if I think it's stupid. lol.

I don't mind what other people do. They can get tattoos or hair extensions, buy a million pairs of shoes. I mean, who cares? I think everybody has their "thing" and that is okay by me. But it seems there are so many "Negative Nellies" out there. I hate negativity. I just don't get it!

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lizzibethak

Control...............you don't get to control your life with abusers............if you are happy then they are threatened because they are supposed to be driving the emotions in the relationship not you.

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Bennu

I think they thrive on making their victims miserable. They want you to have all the problems that they have.

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Quaddie

If you are an extension of them, you are not allowed to have your own identity, wants, needs, desires.

You are not a separate, unique individual who they respect and love. You are their thing. An extension of their own being.

If they don't want it, you don't need it. If they don't like it, neither do you.

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Kittymom

I agree with so much of what's been expressed here. I just want to live a peaceful existence where human beings are allowed to just "be" and not live in a constant state of hyper-vigilance. I don't want to worry that if I make a mistake, I'll be berated or once in a while, I may be too tired to fully engage in "conversation" ie. he talks and I listen in rapt attention.

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MorningGlory

You can put some guy mags in the toilet and hope his legs fall asleep reading them on the pot. That might give you an hour.

Make sure all your gifts to him are golf you can have an entire day.

He truly does not care if you look pretty for him. Get some butt ugly sweats. Really big and slipper boots. Let the pit hair grow out and tell him you're saving money by making your own beauty. Yep, you get what you pay for!!! 

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