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Rosanna

Making a decision, impossible!

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Rosanna

Hi everyone

I'm new here. I am a single woman who lives alone, I've experienced abuse in the past and I came here recently because of abusive friends.

I'm posting here because I am grappling with an issue at the moment. I'm meant to be travelling a fair distance to a course that I wanted to go to, have paid for and generally shown a lot of interest in. However I've had 2 personal tragedies this week, not family, but friend's family, I'm providing a lot of support and I'm also wiped out with no energy. I can't seem to decide whether to pull out of going to the course or go. It would be good for me to go and travel because I'm slightly agoraphobic (but working on it), also I said I'd be there and I know I'd enjoy it, it's something I've wanted to do. On the other hand, I've realised I've over worked myself recently.

I've come to the realisation that I try and do so much that is out of my means a lot of the time, I over stretch myself. I've only just realised it.

The problem is, I'm worried about pulling out because I don't want to disappoint the people running the course (I know them). I feel it reflects badly on me too because it's a course to do with my perfume business and so it looks like I'm unreliable in business, etc.

I keep trying to tell myself it is my right to pull out, but there's something in me that always wants to protect everyone else first...I suppose also I would like to do the course. I just don't have the energy and have realised I've been overstretching myself for a long time. So I'll be disappointed if I don't go.

It just feels awful to say I'm not going when I'm all packed and ready and it would be such a good course. At the same time it's a big stretch for both me, my energy and I could do with some time alone. Brain has been going back and forth all day and now it's 2am. No idea what I'm doing!

Any thoughts? Appreciate your views :-)

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AnnieB3

consider sleeping on the train, re-store, get filled up at the course, sleep on the train ride home....and in your renewal can be there for yourself and friends upon return....enjoy!

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