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Trillian

Dysthymia?

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Trillian

Hi friends... it's been such a long time. Used to be Kike in another life. Maybe some of you will remember...

Anyhow, after all this time I find myself back in therapy... this time dealing with the aftermath of the sexual abuse. Something that I had never had an issue with before, so I thought maybe I had gotten "lucky" and it was the one aspect of the whole ordeal with GuitarGod that hadn't affected me deeply. Boy, was I ever wrong! I guess I just wasn't ready to deal with that horde of demons until now. <_<

Anyhow, so onto my question... turns out my therapist informally diagnosed me with this type of low-grade persistent depression. Suggested I go to a psychiatrist to get formally diagnosed and be prescribed medicine just in case I'd like to take it. Sigh... I suspected deep down something of the sort was wrong with me --not that i had any knowledge of this condition, but that perhaps all this tiredness and lack of motivation wasn't merely me being a lazy procrastinator. I've always known that fear is what keeps me stuck, but to have this label kind of makes it real. Not the best of feelings. But I digress... I'm here to see if anyone has heard of this, experienced it, dealt with someone who had it... anything.

The other thing I'm here for is to see if maybe you guys can help me sort this out... There's the issue of insurance. I don't have any at the moment. I work for a small company and they don't offer it. I also have my own little business and cannot afford it for now. I'm seeing this therapist because it is a free resource from the county where I live. The psychiatrist she referred me to is also a free resource... except there I'll have to wait to see the actual Dr for about two months, or so I've been told. So I'm on the waiting list, but in the meantime I'm wondering what the heck to do? If I end up being diagnosed, won't that be an immediate "pre-existing condition" therefore making me inelegible for a lot of insurance companies? And if I am elegible, would they exclude mental health coverage? Is there a way to have a psychiatrist evaluate me without 'branding' me, as it were, for insurance purposes?

Then there's the whole issue of will medication just cripple me further with all those freakish side effects, but that would be getting ahead of myself, i suspect... given the whole insurance thing, I might not even end up seeing the freakin' psychiatrist anyhow. Sigh...

Well, any input appreciated, as always. I will go and catch up with some of your stories now. :)

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percolate

Trillian,

I'm glad you're getting counseling.

Whether or not your counselor has formally made a diagnosis of dysthemia, you've already received some sort of diagnosis. Without a diagnosis, the counselor you're seeing wouldn't be able to treat you and get reimbursed from the county for your treatment.

So you've already got a pre-existing condition, and seeing a psychiatrist won't make it any more difficult to get insurance in the future. When you see the psychiatrist ask about medications and side effects-there are some antidepressants that don't have many side effects. And they can really help.

And given the recent Supreme Court decision, hopefully you won't have to worry about preexisting conditions and having mental health care coverage in the future.

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Trillian

Whether or not your counselor has formally made a diagnosis of dysthemia, you've already received some sort of diagnosis. Without a diagnosis, the counselor you're seeing wouldn't be able to treat you and get reimbursed from the county for your treatment.

Hi Percolate... long time!

I'm not well versed on all these matters, but do you know if a counselor (not a psychologist, not a clinical social worker) can actually make a diagnosis? I hope not, coz i need to get insurance some way or another before 2014 and given the current state of affairs regarding healthcare in sunny So. Florida, the label will make it very hard and/or very expensive for me.

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big girl

Hi Trillian,

Maybe you could google this for your state or have a long anonymous conversation with an insurance company?? I'll bet each one is different in their definition of pre-existing condition and when setting insurance up it really comes down to what you tell them. Either way, your therapist will have in his/her notes NOW that they beleive you to have this condition and a referral has been made.

Right now, insurance might have to be the lesser priority and getting yourself back on top the bigger priority? Currently you have access to free health care. In 2014 you may not even need it!

I was on anti-depressants for 12 months, sometimes they are like a bouy, just to get us over the hump. I found Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helpful too, just to get me out of the 'thinking ruts' I had before. Learning to let things go and leave them in the past, to look forward and live in the 'now' have been my saviours - the drugs just helped my brain to perk up and see the brighter side for a time.

Big hugs for you and may your past abuse one day soon seem miniscule in comparison to the beautiful, strong person you are inside of you, just waiting to burst forth.

Abusers are just people who saw how beautiful you are and wanted to share your light but got greedy and took it all. ;) Like Dementors, they suck all the goodness from us but it is still there - you might be afraid to show it because someone might try and steal it again but know you have an infinite resource of light in your heart and it's OK to let it shine forth again :)

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big girl

Found this link about Social Security: May help ease some financial worries...Dysthmia and social security

Also wonder how likely an insurance company is to claim any depression as a pre-existing condition because I think you'll find that 99.9% of the population has had depression in some form over their lifetime.

Just thinking :think:

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percolate

Also wonder how likely an insurance company is to claim any depression as a pre-existing condition because I think you'll find that 99.9% of the population has had depression in some form over their lifetime.

Unfortunately, in this country, it's very likely that an insurance company will claim depression is a pre-existing condition. Any excuse that they can use to avoid coverage, they'll use. And some insurance plans will cover only a fraction of the charges for mental health care and cover a larger fraction of the costs for traditional physical ailments.

I believe the stats are about 20% of adults in the US will experience a depression severe enough to be diagnosed and treated.

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percolate

I'm not well versed on all these matters, but do you know if a counselor (not a psychologist, not a clinical social worker) can actually make a diagnosis? I hope not, coz i need to get insurance some way or another before 2014 and given the current state of affairs regarding healthcare in sunny So. Florida, the label will make it very hard and/or very expensive for me.

It probably depends on each state's scope of practice. Each state is different in terms of who can make what diagnosis and what treatments they can prescribe. The state board that licenses counselors in FL should have information about what is allowed in terms of their scope of practice.

However, as Big Girl has pointed out, the diagnosis is probably in your counselor's notes and the fact that she referred you to a psychiatrist.

I'm so glad you're able to access free care through your county, I wish that kind of support was more widely available.

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tenderheart

Hi friends... it's been such a long time. Used to be Kike in another life. Maybe some of you will remember...

Anyhow, after all this time I find myself back in therapy... this time dealing with the aftermath of the sexual abuse. Something that I had never had an issue with before, so I thought maybe I had gotten "lucky" and it was the one aspect of the whole ordeal with GuitarGod that hadn't affected me deeply. Boy, was I ever wrong! I guess I just wasn't ready to deal with that horde of demons until now. dry.gif

Anyhow, so onto my question... turns out my therapist informally diagnosed me with this type of low-grade persistent depression. Suggested I go to a psychiatrist to get formally diagnosed and be prescribed medicine just in case I'd like to take it. Sigh... I suspected deep down something of the sort was wrong with me --not that i had any knowledge of this condition, but that perhaps all this tiredness and lack of motivation wasn't merely me being a lazy procrastinator. I've always known that fear is what keeps me stuck, but to have this label kind of makes it real. Not the best of feelings. But I digress... I'm here to see if anyone has heard of this, experienced it, dealt with someone who had it... anything.

The other thing I'm here for is to see if maybe you guys can help me sort this out... There's the issue of insurance. I don't have any at the moment. I work for a small company and they don't offer it. I also have my own little business and cannot afford it for now. I'm seeing this therapist because it is a free resource from the county where I live. The psychiatrist she referred me to is also a free resource... except there I'll have to wait to see the actual Dr for about two months, or so I've been told. So I'm on the waiting list, but in the meantime I'm wondering what the heck to do? If I end up being diagnosed, won't that be an immediate "pre-existing condition" therefore making me inelegible for a lot of insurance companies? And if I am elegible, would they exclude mental health coverage? Is there a way to have a psychiatrist evaluate me without 'branding' me, as it were, for insurance purposes?

Then there's the whole issue of will medication just cripple me further with all those freakish side effects, but that would be getting ahead of myself, i suspect... given the whole insurance thing, I might not even end up seeing the freakin' psychiatrist anyhow. Sigh...

Well, any input appreciated, as always. I will go and catch up with some of your stories now. smile.gif

Hi Trillian...I'm not sure you are still on here...since you posted this in July last year...but I saw the title "Dysthymia" and jumped on. I am not diagnosed with anything...but depression does run in my family. It seems that your question was more about insurance but wanted to touch on the Dysthymia thing.

When I was younger I wasn't like this so much which makes me think much of my "down hearted" feelings are from experiences in life...from failures/not living up to standards whether my own or others.

When I became pregnant with my son...it was something that wasn't planned with a man I barely knew nor liked in a relationship type of way. He did not honor me when I said, "no..." but long story. That day I found out I was pregnant was the beginning, IMO, of my depression. No..I did not know that it would come to this point...I figured I'd get through everything because my faith was built stronger through those times...but those times were sucky...there was a daily battle with the man who was the father of my son. There was abuse and disrespect and fear for how he'd hurt my son when my son would go for visits. Those times (many years ago) were hellish...and I would never wish it upon anyone. Those times brought me down A LOT. I cried a lot of tears...felt anger and rage like never before...and the day he choked me was my opportunity to get a restraining order and I did. I asked if I could get it for my son as well since I figured if this man is choking me why wouldn't he do something the same to my son one day? Nope. The courts don't see it like that.

Fast forward to my meeting my ex-husband (not my son's father....different guy). I was working on forgiveness all the time with my son's dad...and in the mean time was working and had finally landed a full time job. I was living with my mother and able to pay off bills and save some money so I was anticipating finally moving gout and getting my own place! That is when I met my ex. Thought I was in heaven. Thought God finally answered some long time prayers of mine. The man who would love me, who would be the great male role model for my son. Yayyy...I was so happy, so blessed. WE could finally have a life together...we could build our love...build our relationship with God...be helpful to others...and my son would finally know what it's like to have a solid family with love and opportunities that would give him some sort of hope for his future.

Then...W H A M!!! I'm down!

The shock of the way he started treating me was too much to handle. My heart should have stopped beating from the sheer shock of it all. But it didn't...sometimes I wished it would.

With that abuse...it killed me on top of the past with my son's dad. To top it off...the ex and my son's dad were teaming up against me!! My ex got me to NOT persue the restraining order when the expiration was coming up. My aunt didn't like it and neither did I...but my ex was all like, "You have me now...you don't need that restraining order...." blah blah..." I didn't like it...but I did it out of respect for him and his darned persistence...or nagging about it. jerk!!

Then...after I moved out from my ex and back to the town I was in before...my son's dad was at it all over again. The dad would go on about what my "then husband" said and how he was right and no wonder why I can't make a relationship work!!! Ahhhhh!!!! :7: Just the memory alone makes me insane. First, I never PICKED my son's dad to have relationship with so I didn't pick him...he picked me..and he disrespected me and got his way with me...second...the man I married I fell in love with because he lied to me and there was no way to know.

Then over the years my son's father was determined to make sure my son despised me...hated me, blamed me for everything...he told my son things my son never should hear. He would look at po rn while my son was there in the room...he would tell my son that his mom was a bi*ch and the C word...he would say disgusting things TO and IN FRONT OF my son about me....cutting my son down for loving his mom and wanting to be with her...or if my son wanted me to come and pick him up at his dads because his dad was being abusive...his dad would MOCK him for calling me. He would tease him relentlessly... making my son feel as if it were my fault that he his dad called him a sissy momma's boy. There was a time my son actually yelled at me when he was about 14 telling me it's my fault he's a sissy...that I baby him...blah blah..and I don't. It's just his dad brainwashing him that thinking anything with mom is sissy.

My son started to disrespect me so much...he was cold and like his dad many times...but also had the love deep down for me that was built upon when he was newborn and toddler age. My son knows me...but his moron dad succeeded in warping it. My son today although better than he was in his high school years to me (because he's been away from his moron dad) is still so much like his dad that way. He brings the heartache back...and the sadness....it's painful sometimes...and my son can't see that how he chooses his words and then acts like he doesn't have a problem but I do...it's so hurtful. He actually uses phrases and words that his dad said to me....when I remind him...my son will sometimes go off on an tangent telling me to shut up! Why? Why can't he just change and stop being the way his dad was to me???

Anyhoo...The point of all that blabber was to say IMO that sadness, the lack of luster, the lack of motivation, the loss of hope I have...the heaviness that seems to be looming every day and every minute of my life lately...came from all the crud mentioned above throughout my life.

I received a magazine that a friend order for me for a years worth...a depression magazine called Espiranza...it had an article on Dysthymia. I read it and said, "Holy cow...that is me!!" It's every day always feeling the "ho hum" feeling...the idea that I'm just existing and not living....the cloud over my head all the time...the loss and desire to CARE about ANYTHING anymore....is that Dysthymia?

Now...don't get me wrong...I don't WANT to be diagnosed with anything. I would like to say, "I'l be okay...I'll pull out of it..." but Iv'e been saying that for years!! I don't want medications or to be diagnosed with it clinically...for many reasons. I can cope with it...when I run I feel better...but I would almost rather be as I am than take medications especially with some of the side effects and working on a concoction that would work for me would take too much and I'd always wonder if it will have an adverse effect on me.

Just thought I'd write about it here...I"m so tired of being down. I have ZERO energy....no desire to do anything...not caring about my goals. I am tired of being afraid of turning the next corning or even taking the next step. Fear has been a part of my life for a very long time...some of it is just me the other of it is the disappointments I've had and the rejections. But I'm tired of trying anymore. This is a daily low feeling. I'm never really "happy." I have moments or days where I feel "normal" for what normal is for me...but it goes away. I have few very good friends that have been my steady throughout life...and I feel I'm losing them too because of my lack of desire to go out or do anything. It isn't just my lack of desire though... even when I do feel like getting out to do things with a friend or two...I don't have money...so have to stay in anyway. Financial issues are another burden on me which causes me even more down-heartedness.

I give credit to all those who were in abusive marriages or relationships who managed to pull themselves together and LIVE. To have a life...to be happy...to make it work.

Thanks for listening...and just wanted to relate to what you said and mention dysthymia.

Hugs.

Tenderheart.

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