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chachacha

And the hurt goes on

5 posts in this topic

He sent me texts the other day asking if we could forgive each other and said he hasn't said anything to me that was any worse than what I've said to him.  Are you effing kidding me?!?!?!?!?  ONE TIME I slipped and called him an a***hole and later apologized for it profusely and repeatedly. Of course he never let it go and started parroting back how I am an abuser, etc. etc. etc.  Anyway, he still thinks the only trouble with us was his abusive mouth when he got angry. Nevermind the anger, the unjustified accusations, the mistrust, the lies, the control, the manipulation, the ever-moving goalposts, the constant chaos, the put downs, the isolation...  I can't even go on.

 

The good thing is that I am free.  I am done with him.  I am not engaging.  He finally picked up the last of his things off my property yesterday while I was at work, as he promised.  He sent me another text afterward offering to help with anything and saying he would be around.  Nope.  Not gonna happen.  All he ever brought me was pain.  Everything good he ever did came with strings.  It was a show to make him look good so he could point to it and say, but I'm a good guy and I do good things so you must be the problem and I'm not THAT bad.  Look everyone sees how great I am.  Well I see how he really is at his core.  Good riddance.  I am still processing my anger at myself for getting into this situation and not getting out sooner.

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I understand. I am working on getting out myself. My husband also said that I have been just as mean to him. I'm glad you are standing your ground and not letting him talk you back into a bad situation. 

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I already gave him way too many chances. Every time he asked for another chance I would say how many more do you get? And then he would say just one more! Even worse at his core he was lying to me with all the apologies and crocodile tears because when he would inevitably get angry he would take everything horrible and throw it at me and it was clear that that was what he had been thinking all along while he was trying to mask it with niceties. The whole good guy act was a cover. Inside he was boiling over with hatred, contempt, impatience, superiority, and so much more negativity.

 

I am proud of myself for finally ending it and now I can go complete no contact forever. He is not blocked but I have him set to no notifications. I learned with the abuser before him that I needed to document any harassment. Thankfully this one is not as obsessed and irrational. He gets the message that he can't have me, that he really did eff it up--though internally he believes we both did. Doesn't matter what he believes. It is obvious that his perception is not reality and all that matters is we're done. 

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On 8/11/2017 at 10:58 AM, chachacha said:

all that matters is we're done. 

Amen

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I can't wait to get where you are. It's always nice. Until it's really really not.

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