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Vampydoll

Should I be Advertising Prune Juice?

5 posts in this topic

Hello one and all.  I have been a member of this forum for a while though I rarely get a chance to post.  (privacy is an issue in my home)  but my dear wonderful husband, and I mean that with the most strictest of sarcasm, had the nicest thing to say to me today.

 

I went to get my hair dyed and even though I am near 60 years of age, I must admit I have had a good plastic surgeon.  He took about 10 years off and I continue to see him twice a year.

I dye my hair golden blonde, have very large green eyes and good skin.  I was asked to become a parts model by a good agency when I was a mere 19 years of age, but my mother, being ignorant, thought it was nude modeling and forbid me to do it.

Today, my hair stylist who has done the hair of Melania Trump and Christie Brinkley while she worked for Frederick Fekkai in NYC, told me I should be a hair model.  I thought it was a great compliment and told her I missed my chance many years ago when I was young.  She then showed me some photos of women 60 and up that are working as models in this day and age.  She also told me that if anyone ever asks me again for head shots, I should take them up on it.  I was asked for Swarovski Crystal too a few years back but just laughed being 58.

 

I thought it was a nice compliment and she gets no advantage to what she said because I have been seeing her now for about 3 years and I never had the thought of leaving her salon.  She is a great stylist.  And to think she did Christie Brinkley and our first Lady, Melania Trump is quite a feather in her cap.

 

When I told my husband, he just laughed at me, making me feel my age, making me feel ugly and told me I should be a TV model and do a commercial for prune juice.  Well? that hurt my feelings because he is insulting and makes me feel very small.  Needless to say I did not find it funny in the least.

 

And all this evening he is insulting me.  Telling me I live my own little world.  Because I like makeup and fashion and am obsessed with Christian Louboutin shoes.  But why not do what makes you happy?  And why does he have to hurt me?  I know I'm old but I do try my best to stay young looking even though my arthritis is in my neck and I am post menopausal, suffer from Graves' Disease and was diagnosed years ago with a benign brain tumor.

 

When will my skin get thicker?  Or does it never happen?  I am open to comments as he made me cry.

Vampy

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I'm sorry Vampy. I think it hurts more and more as time goes on until you can't stand it anymore. I also think that you should feel good about the nice compliment your hairdresser paid you. Maybe you could make enough money doing that to leave.

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I agree. You don't need a thicker skin, and you will never grow a skin so thick that barbs don't hurt. If you did, you wouldn't be human.

A person who cares about you doesn't insult you, or cut you down. They don't laugh at your dreams and be snide and sarcastic. A person who does that, on the other hand, is showing they don't really care about you.

Truth is, an abusive person cannot stand anyone else thinking highly of you. Because that not only "undermines" them (and their put-downs of you), but also threatens them because it might help you feel better about yourself - and they don't want that. They want to keep you down. They don't want you feeling good about yourself, because then you might leave them. They want control over you.

So he counteracted the compliment by being a nasty obnoxious @ssh0le jerk to you. To put you back in your place. That's all he wants. Control over you. He might even enjoy hurting you. Many do. It makes them feel "better" than you, and gives them a rush that they can control you like that.

I think you should pursue your dream. I have a plaque on my wall that says "You're never too old to be what you might have been." How I got that plaque is an interesting story. I was at a drugstore one day, probably 10 years ago. I was depressed, pretty much crying, and thinking "Maybe I'm just too old, maybe I'm just too old and my dreams are stupid and I should give up, it's a young person's thing. Maybe I'm just too old."  And as I was thinking this, wandering around the store upset and without any thought at all about what I was looking at - just wandering aimlessly and being upset - I suddenly found myself in front of a shelf with some frames and plaques on it, and right there in front of me was THIS plaque, that said that.  So I bought it. It's still on my wall.

Your hair stylist is right. There is a market for mature models. You can point yourself in that direction by just taking a few simple steps. Get new head shots if you need them. And don't tell your husband. You know he's not supportive, and you know he'll only cut you down. He's not your ally, so he doesn't deserve to know. He would only try to take any good feelings away from you. He's a vampire, sucking your life from you.

Pursue your dreams even if they seem improbable.  Your husband is not your ally - his agenda is to bring you down. So his opinion means nothing on this topic. He's trying to sabotage you. He's being cruel. You don't treat the people you care about like that. 

 

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Vampydoll

He sounds so much like my husband. I can understand how that can hurt. Quaddie has some good advise. Bennu is right too, after awhile you can just get sick of what they say.

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thank you.  Makes me feel better just to know I'm not nuts because I feel the way I do.  He is impossible and I am stuck with him.  At least for the time being.  Always have my eyes open and always have hope.B)

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