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Fluffyflea

Blocking on Cell Phone and Email.....

40 posts in this topic

So when I got home on Tuesday night after being thrown out I blocked him on my Cell Phone and on email the next morning and shut down my Twitter Account just in case.

The reason I am writing about this is I was trying to find out what happens when someone is blocked and somebody said to give them prior warning then block them.

So of course now I feel guilty.

Any thoughts?

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When I blocked my now-ex he was stalking me and I was so scared out of my mind I did not give him prior warning. Oops. I think sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to stay safe and sane. Don't feel guilty. DON'T! He's been making you "feel bad" for years and years. So you made him "feel bad" once. He had it coming. And lots more where that came from!

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Don't second guess yourself..............is there any reason for communcation?  NO?  Then block away!!

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NO WAY IS THERE ANY REASON TO COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!!!!

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Carry on sister.............start claiming your sanity again and moving into safe mode.  Your emotions are going to continue to cycle, but your can end the craziness one day at a time.

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But knowing him seeing as he's THE VICTIM he's probably blocked me.

and anyways I'm feeling guilty because I've put my foot down and walked away.

decided to take care of myself.

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He blocked me from everything after I missed some calls after my cell phoned died. Talk about overreacting! He did me a favor.

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Oh I know those feelings, Fluffy.............I did the same thing when my XH blocked me from Facebook after I found all of his posts to/about his new online sweetie..........his whole family was watching/reading his posts about finding true love and when I finally told him I could actually see his stuff (I unfollowed him........didn't unfriend him.........he didn't know the difference, DUH!!).........then he blocked me.

It's been a long year trying to get over the need to constantly monitor him and follow his movements/actions........it's been hard even though he's 7000 miles away because I know he wants to move back to this state.  So.......you can do this............it takes time but you can do this!

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I didn't know it's a thing that you're obligated to give someone prior warning before you block them?

Idk. Blocking is a self-protective, boundary-protecting act.  Nobody has to say,  "I'm going to protect myself now!! Be warned!" So i don't think there is any need to warn someone before blocking them. 

OTOH, abusers will make weird rules designed to maintain control even over the manner in which you escape from that control. 

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Quaddie.............I love your perspective always!  Why do we think we have to "warn" people about leaving them, blocking social media or cell phones, changing locks, no-contact, etc...............is it because we've been brought up to be "nice" or have we been programmed via abusive control that we are not allowed to make our own decisions??

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2 hours ago, lizzibethak said:

Quaddie.............I love your perspective always!  Why do we think we have to "warn" people about leaving them, blocking social media or cell phones, changing locks, no-contact, etc...............is it because we've been brought up to be "nice" or have we been programmed via abusive control that we are not allowed to make our own decisions??

Yes absolutely to all your questions.

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Day Three No Contact.

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6 hours ago, lizzibethak said:

Why do we think we have to "warn" people about leaving them, blocking social media or cell phones, changing locks, no-contact, etc...............is it because we've been brought up to be "nice" or have we been programmed via abusive control that we are not allowed to make our own decisions??

Yes.  Please read The Nice Girl Syndrome

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Yes I have that book.

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DAY FOUR NO CONTACT!!!!!!!

 

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Keep it up. Do some fun things on your own.

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Yes that's right!!!!

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6 hours ago, Fluffyflea said:

DAY FOUR NO CONTACT!!!!!!!

 

Good for you!  It will get easier.

As someone recommended, do nice things for yourself and begin enjoying things that you weren't able to do around him.

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YES!!!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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DAY FIVE NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!'

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Is this the longest?

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THE LONGEST!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Way to go!

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This is awesome, fluffyflea! :)

In response to the guilt for not warning him in advance of blocking, there's no hard and fast rule that says we must do that. Especially if he's an abuser, that just gives him ammo to try and abuse more. I think you absolutely did the wisest and best thing!

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🤗🤓

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