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hoping

Update on my life

29 posts in this topic

Quaddie

22 hours ago, Quaddie said:

You don't have to be perfect in order to merit respect and caring.

You are right, he needs to treat me with respect and caring and I need to treat him that way. I am going to try and quit saying angry things, unless it is to show him I am not going to put up with his abuse. I have been getting angry before he says things, if I suspect he is going to be abusive. I have also been getting angry and talking to him that way because he has been that way to me. I will know that I am being respectful and I can feel good about that.

It is particle board on the floor. He hates to repair things. I started telling him I wasn't going to help him even put up a ceiling fan because of how abusive he was to me. He then promised he wouldn't be that way. I helped him and he was nice, so he can be decent if he tries. I helped even though I didn't want to. I didn't know it but when I told him that I would not help him anymore, I was at the point of not wanting to help him even if he was nice. Now, I have no desire to help him repair or remodel anything. It can be hard work, but I use to get some enjoyment out of it when we worked together. That was because I didn't realize how much he hated doing those things and I didn't understand as much about abuse either.

 

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You know......  a relationship isn't supposed to be like a battleground. It's not even supposed to be that you have to show them you won't put up with something.

It's okay if he doesn't want to repair things, if he's willing to hire it out, or if you feel comfortable doing it yourself. But just doing a crappy job because he doesn't like to do it and isn't willing to hire it out - well, that's like a toddler huh.

I think it's totally understandable you wouldn't want to help him repair any of this. For one thing it's probably a bit "too little, too late"....  another thing is you can't stay really invested in the whole shebang, for self-protection and from let-down, and from knowing it might not last, and also probably you're just sick of it. So - totally understandable.

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Quaddie

A battleground, Yes that's a good description.

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Sorry, he's a lazy, overbearing, immature, controlling @ss.

LMAO 

The dumb things they do!!! It's okay for them to be a screw up but if we attempt to put things together we get the shaft. 


You think they would save money and hire someone to do it right. O YAH PRIDE!!! LOL 


 

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