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Fluffyflea

Stating what your needs are.......

13 posts in this topic

It's amazing how I state what my needs are which are very little and it somehow gets shoved back in my face.

 

my needs do not matter whatsoever.its all about the Narcissist.

 

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Fluffyflea   

Narcissist are very self centered. My husband seems to be one. They want power and control and if we don't agree with their decisions, we are wrong in their mind, and they don't seem to care what we want or think. They seem to think they are smarter than us. My husband does at times ask or give me what I want. I believe it is something that he doesn't feel he needs as much control over and that will help me to feel that he cares and is letting me have some control, whether he really is or not.

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I think it's called a "Bone" throwing us a "Bone".

 

Im working on my escape plan, buying food for the freezer,stocking up on stuff I will need trying for a year of supplies.

 

getting my car serviced,paying bills ahead to have a cushion. 

Trying to find work and get on my feet.

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It hurts Fluffyflea. It damages too. It take time to recover.

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Yes it certainly is going to take time.

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It sounds like you have a good plan. I'm glad to hear that. I bet you will soon be out!!! Yay!!!   Hugs

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This was the area that hurt me the most. Your trying and can't connect. You want to be close to his family but they all function stuffing problems and claim brilliance. You try to get anywhere and your deemed emotional and then even unbalanced. He will not every admit he is or was controlling. That stuff goes with him to his grave. Then will be super kind to general people. Yet with you would treat you less than a number. He can do what he wants when he wants and it is all your fault. He could look at pornography and it would be my fault. He would have what every meal he wanted to eat and offer me his tidbits why for us he barked at quality lunch meat. He never packed a lunch but we are responsible, to save for his needs and mostly wants. He never packed a lunch. If I point it out I would be the evil housewife. If I tried to better myself I was selfish. I had a big house I could not live in and a lot of toys that were never mine. Ego does not love anything but itself. It was more than a picture he portrayed he could not come down off that lofty throne to touch the heart of the members in his house. In order to accept it you have to lose something in yourself first. It is painful and only accounts to them being successful. You being a equal, yeah right! 

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After you sacrifice and jump through hoops to meet AAAAALLLLLLL their needs, your needs are burdens. I know! Keep planning! Happiness is just around the corner. I'm proof. 

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Yes it seems my needs have become "burdens."

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So I called my dr this morning and will see her next Wednesday to go back on Celexa (Citalopram) as I've had two panic attacks in the last 24 hours and am feeling nervous and stressed.

 

i figure I'd better do it as a way to take care of myself.

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Fluffy.............yes take care of you with meds or whatever you need as you start planning and saving.  We're here on the sidelines cheering you on every step of the way....you can do this!!!

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😄👍😄👍. Thankyou for the kind words.

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Kudos to you!!!  I envy you for planning to get free.  I don't have any answers for myself.  I do have a feeling that someday I will.  One can only hope.  Until then, I just hang out around here.  It's a good catharsis to be able to vent my upsets which are on a daily basis.

 

As far as control freaks go, I live with one and he had the nerve to tell me yesterday which day I should wash my hair.  Can you believe this?  He pays for my hair dye and that's the ONLY thing he pays for.  So now he thinks he can tell me when to wash my hair.  Such an donkey!  I hate him.

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