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BlurryFace

How do I get Better?

3 posts in this topic

I have posted my whole story on here but as days come and go I realize that there is so much more that pops into my head now. I know that no one has the answers but I'm hoping that some can relate so I can relate to them as well. As I look back on all four years of my high school days only two months after graduating I realize that the teacher that had manipulated me was my closest friend. He was the one person I knew I could turn to and tell anything to, as the days pass though I have to wonder if that was just his way of working up to this point. Were all these four years just a plan, or did this just happen? He did so many nice things for me and all the students! Having said that, he also always had a double sided opposite to all his good deeds. He had a way of turning people against me in the band, not in a terrible way but more like a playful way. However he knew full and well that I was very sensitive after too much of being picked on. He would let people pick in me until someone told him it had gone too far then he would always be there to build me back up again. This cycle continued until senior year when all he did was build me up to the point where everything happened. My question is why? Do all predators do this? Is there a pattern of these kind of people? How do I move on from this and continue living normally? Or can I even do that? I know I don't have it as bad as others and I'm sorry if I sound pathetic but I don't know where else to turn at this point.

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I'm sorry BlurryFace. I have had a similar experience as I look over the more than 2 decades of my marriage. It seems like Eeyore's actions were all part of a master long term plan to capture and enslave me to serve his needs. He is obviously a disturbed individual in hindsight. Why didn't I see it? Why was I so blind? While I was being upfront and honest in our relationship, all his actions and words were to manipulate. I was in love and he was acting out a plan. The result is that my life has been totally messed up. It is very hard to deal with.

At least in my case, I was the first. It must be hard on you to know know that you were most likely one of many. Do you go to a therapist? If this one isn't helping you need to find another. A good one should be able to help you. Some are better than others. I have found this author helpful: http://www.amazon.com/Beverly-Engel/e/B000APNBP6 On amazon you can read portions of the books online and that might help you to decide which one to read first.

I read the book "Crazy Love" by Leslie Morgan Steiner. She had a positive way of looking at her bad first marriage. She took it as a beneficial lesson about what kind of person to avoid so that she could have a better rest of her life. Maybe that's the way to think about it. You are young and could have a wonderful partner in your future.

You say "I know I don't have it as bad as others"

That isn't true. You have it bad. You had your childhood innocence striped from you. You had your high school experience destroyed. I'm glad you feel like you can come here. Please come back any time you need support. We will be here for you.

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Sweet girl............Bennu is right. This person had two sides and you would like to think that he was honestly good to you and others while still having a dark and manipulative side. To think that he did this on purpose and that he had planned it all along is too hard to grasp.........how could someone do that??

The truth is, these predators and abusers do it all day long............to all kinds of people..........to people they say they love and care for.

You can and will recover with the help of your therapist. It takes time, but you are stronger than you think you are and you can do this......and life will get better and there is someone out there who is deserving of your love.

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