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HanginOn

My Husband had me arrested

255 posts in this topic

HanginOn, I sincerely hope you are right. I just know from personal experience that every time I thought "he wouldn't cross that line" he did. I finally woke up to myself and started asking "why am I surprised?" And the reason I was surprised is because I was assessing his behaviour by my rules. As soon as I understood his rules, there was no surprise any more. You may value the money and your kids, but does he? How has he treated either in the past?

Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft spelled out the "whys" very clearly for me. I strongly suggest you have a read of the book if you can.

Look at what he DOES, not what he SAYS. It made a big difference to how I viewed my husband.

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O.K. Now I'm just getting more and more confused (and alarmed). As I read your posts I find myself thinking "no, he's not THAT bad... No he wouldn't do THAT, etc.. And yet, this man had me put in JAIL. Could he have really not known, when he was making that call (while I begged him not to) what the consequences would be... that I would really be arrested and locked in a cage? This is almost too much for me to even think about right now. And to all those who have suggested it.. I just finished reading the first chapter of "Why Does He Do That." Not into the actual figuring stuff out yet, but with just the overview I could feel my stress level gradually rising. Will I find my husband in these pages? I don't know. But I do know that I'm pretty much falling apart. Since being arrested & the nightmare that followed I can't seem to handle hardly any stress at all, I cry all the time, I can't focus well to work, I fall apart when a police car pulls up next to me or I have to drive past the jail. And I have my battle ahead to clear my name and reclaim my rights... I just can't handle very much at a time. Reading this book and examining the abusive nature of my husband and what I'm going to do about it -- while I can't do anything until my court stuff is over -- Is maybe more than I can handle right now. I know it can't be pushed under the rug but I'm just so overwhelmed!

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I'm so sorry HanginOn! I kept it all together until after I left. It's been in the weeks that have followed that I've fallen apart and this week I was diagnosed with high anxiety, and I don't even have court stuff to worry about.

Can you call a DV helpline? They may be able to get you into some counseling to help get you through the coming weeks. Or see your doctor. That's what I did. I go back on Tuesday to get a care plan worked out so I can get into a Councillor. I'm in Australia so it'll be different for you, but there are options. The DV helpline could work through your options with you, while your doctor could help you with the stress you are feeling.

Regarding the book, it's chapter 4 that spells out clearly a range of types of abusive men. If you can get that far, then you'll know if your husband is in the book.

As painful as it is to understand what is going on, it also gives you the keys to defend yourself. When I understood his game, I could stop playing it and start making decisions to better my situation. It also increased my self-esteem greatly because I understood it was all him and not me.

Most of all HanginOn, do what is right for you. You will not be judged here. People are sharing their advice and experience to try and help you, but it is entirely up to you to decide for yourself. Take care of yourself.

((((HanginOn))))

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Escapee -- I am actually in counseling already. Before all this happened I was already struggling with major depression and under a doctors care. In fact I was going through a nasty med change when I snapped and ended up in jail. I am now seeing my counselor twice a week and she is keeping my doctor posted. They are keeping me on a short leash because I have gotten extremely low and for fear that I might "do something to harm myself." Which, I admit, I have thought about... but I'm good at procrastination. I figure if I can just keep telling myself "not today," - "not today" "not today" then eventually there will come a day when I won't feel like I want to anymore.

TMI -- Grateful for being anonymous right now.

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Sweetie, as has been said already......

your depression, anxiety, stress, fear........and low self worth are more than likely all coming from your situation.........

PLEASE find a counselor who is experienced in domestic violence......PLEASE.......

*HUGS*

MG

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My heart goes out to you HanginOn. Nobody should have to go through what you're going through.

Things will get better, as difficult as it is to see right now. You've already identified the situation you're in. You've already started the research. You've already got the support around you (i.e. Councillor and doctor, and us :grouphugg: ).

In your own time you can arm yourself to make a plan to go forward, to start to make decisions to better your situation. This takes time to process, which is made all the more difficult because of the depression. But it can be done. There are many people on this website who can tell you their stories and how they are now enjoying life to the fullest. It gives me hope!

The DV helpline will put you onto a Councillor who knows about DV. It could help you a lot.

One day at a time isn't a bad thing. Life's ridiculously tough right now. Go easy on yourself. Where you are is very understandable and NORMAL.

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HanginOn,

I know you are overwhelmed. I remember telling my ex that I absolutely would not talk to him about our relationship until I found out what my future held in relationship to the domestic battery charge. And then I told him that I was angrier with him than I ever had been and that until further notice, we would only be talking about issues related to the care of our children. Doing that gave me breathing room and ex was on his best behavior because he knew that he had crossed a line with me and was hoping to mend fences.

HanginOn, above all you must take care of yourself right now. If reading about abuse is too much for you, than put the book away until you are moved to pick it up. We are not meaning to scare you or create more stress for you right now. We just care about you and want you to be safe.

You wrote above "As I read your posts I find myself thinking "no, he's not THAT bad... No he wouldn't do THAT, etc.. And yet, this man had me put in JAIL. " I remember thinking the same thing. In fact, as I was reading everyone's responses to this topic, I thought to myself "When I was right where HanginOn is, I was saying "he's not that bad!'". When you are in the middle of a war, you normalize things that during peacetime you would view with alarm. It was when I realized the magnitude of my ex's betrayal of me that I started to feel the anger in its entirety...and the grief. I remember going into work, shutting the door to my office, and lying down on the floor to cry for hours...every day. How I didn't lose my job is a miracle.

What I am trying to say, HanginOn is that your depression and despair is NORMAL. You have been betrayed in one of the worst, possible ways. You have been greatly traumatized and it is no wonder that you are struggling. Is there anyway you could take time off of work and go stay with a friend or family member for a while? I think that you need a break from this. I remember thinking to myself that if a stranger attacked someone, and then went to the police and had that person arrested for defending themselves, you would never in a million years expect the victim to live under the same roof with the attacker. Well, that's what you, and I and every woman and man on this board have done or are doing...living with our attackers. God it's no wonder most of us have struggled with depression and PTSD at one point or another.

So, as I see it, your main priorities at this point in time are to get some kind of relief from this unendurable stress you are under and to stay safe.. Not that you asked my opinion :-) ! I do hope that there is someone you can stay with for a while. Maybe your kids could go with you? I know it is hard to think of anything but the hell you are enduring right now. I just don't want you to lose hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you...

I hope you can get rest tonight.

Love,

Grabby

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Hey <3

Know how you feel - keep looking after yourself, keep reminding yourself that your kids need you.

:bathtime:

Put the book away for now if you need to, just stop making excuses for him. Don't make him out to be the 'nice guy' to anyone, especially the judge. Keep your head low and make no promises, to him or yourself. Live one day at a time.

Be assured that your H trying to get you out of this now is purely because , as you so clearly point out, this will affect HIM. I wonder if you;d be so sure if it didn't?

So glad to hear you are with your kids. Sending lots of love your way :wub:

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What they said - what you are feeling is entirely normal. So please don't add to your stress by feeling stressed for feeling stressed. :D No one is superhuman and you have a lot on your plate.

It's ok to maintain the status quo. I would just strongly advise that you don't make any decisions re: talking to your husband about abuse right now. Sometimes keeping the status quo and going along as if nothing has changed is the safest.

What concerns me most is your state of mind. Unfortunately, I believe it's primarily created by your situation. I hope you don't fault yourself for "not getting better" while you're living within the situation that's actually making you sick. Even normal stress-coping strategies don't really work very well when you're living with abuse. It truly is overwhelming. Feeling that dire need to escape from life itself is, to me, a symptom of the helplessness you feel about your situation. (And a lot of us have been there, too, trust me.) It feels like there's nothing you can do - like all your choices are choices you can't make or take for some reason or another - and so the only real "option" feels like removing yourself entirely. Yes, I know how that feels.... But again, it's a symptom. You may feel helpless, like all your choices are simply unendurable catch-22's... but try to trust that, in time, that will change.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other right now, and focus on what you do right now in the here and now. That will help you keep moving forward. And try to do little things for yourself, to take care of you.

not%20your%20fault.gif

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I feel like my whole world (including my mental health) is spinning out of control right now.

I've appreciated all the posts... the encouragement and advice. Thank you.

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Hey HangingOn,

You probably really are, just hanging on! It's kinda what happens when you are going through such a trauma. And what you are dealing with is nothing less than a trauma.

Take some deep breaths, take one day at a time. Truly, one moment at a time if you need to. Don't think into the future, it hasn't happened yet so worry is futile. Don't think too much about the past, it's over. Just stay here, in this moment - you are alive, you are with your children, you are just waiting. When the court date happens, then you will know more, but until then, just live - one moment at a time.

A good distraction - for me, when dealing with BIG issues is to make a commitment that when I start to worry about the future and think of all the possibilities (which 90% of the time don't happen anyway :) ) I stop thinking and start playing with the kids, in your case you could grab your keys and go do something with your older kids. In my area there are quite a few free activities but a few dollars spent on a fun outing with the kids is better than two hours of mind blowing worry.

You'll likely be exhausted, from all the mind work you're doing, so maybe a movie? It's winter over there, going to the mall, ice skating - I'm sure there are tonnes of things you can think of if you try. AVoid the old coffee with a friend unless that friend is such a good friend that she'll fail to mention what is happening. I always found it inevitable that we would dicuss (and therefore focus on) what was happening to me because it was all I could think about. Distraction. That's what you're after.

Keep venting here if you need to get some of it out- that way you'll be limiting the time that you spend on worrying. You'll be surprised what we've all been through here collectively!!!!!!!!!!

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HangingOn, your story touched all of us so much we must have come on like a wind-blown fury.

Your confusion, overwhelm, lack of energy to make a single plan is ALL of our pasts.

You do not have to do a THING right now but get through each day. BG is right, about managing the anxiety. Keep your head above water, and keep on doing what it takes to take your next breath. The emotions you are riding are tremendous, and I know for me I forget I was once right where you are, and would have been absolutely paralyzed by a bunch of horrified folks driving home just how awful my situation was (as if I didn't know). We simply care, this community has been around well over a decade, fourteen years I think? All reaching out and supporting and encouraging, and sometimes we forget how it felt when that awful lightbulb goes on.

We are NOT all about encouraging people to leave, we can't be, because just up and LEAVING RIGHT NOW is NOT what we ourselves did for god's sake. It is a process, and it may not end in leaving. The process is about coming awake to the reality of our lives, our emotions, and the very basics of our relationships -- not just with an abusive spouse, but all relationships.

Get through this legal crap, make keeping your head above water and having some good, close moments with your kids your only simple goals, perhaps. Keep it on the "low down" with your husband, trust your gut feelings with him. He's gotten you into this situation, and now it's up to you to get yourself through it. You just can't expect to do it without support.

We can support you in WHATEVER you choose to do, or feel obligated or even forced into doing to save yourself right now. God knows we have all been there.

Whatever our outer circumstances are, when coping with abuse, what we feel on the inside is SO similar as to make any differences seem unimportant.

I hope you'll check in, keep us posted, and we'll just . . . BE here for you. Listening, offering advice if you want it, just keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

Bink

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I feel like my whole world (including my mental health) is spinning out of control right now.

I've appreciated all the posts... the encouragement and advice. Thank you.

Hangin On...I hope you are okay. Your post makes me worry about you. It's so hard. I know. Please stay strong...easy to say hard to do..but please try. You are bigger than he is and worth so much more. He is not worth letting yourself get lost in the crud. Try to stay mentally on top of things....stay connected here...

hugs to you my friend.

Tenderheart

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Been trying to keep my anger towards my husband in check but I blew it today. And then H got angry and said he wouldn't talk to the D.A. to try to get my charges dropped. Of course I begged him to change his mind... just like I begged him NOT to call the police that night (I BEGGED HIM, and he looked at me and calmly said no -- you're going to get what you deserve). NO MERCY! Not for his wife of 20 years who he KNEW was having some serious emotional issues at the time and who had NEVER, EVER touched him in anger before. My life is SO in the toilet.

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When you calm down, think it through a bit, hon. He screwed himself by having you charged (you detailed this quite well in a prior post). If he "doesn't talk to the DA to get your charges dropped" he's going to screw himself. He's just punishing you. Probably taunting you or frustrating you to the point you blow up.

I am no psychic, but I DOUBT your husband will deliberately screw himself anymore than he already has. He's just being nasty and abusive and punitive, like usual.

Bink

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You wrote above "As I read your posts I find myself thinking "no, he's not THAT bad... No he wouldn't do THAT, etc.. And yet, this man had me put in JAIL. " I remember thinking the same thing. In fact, as I was reading everyone's responses to this topic, I thought to myself "When I was right where HanginOn is, I was saying "he's not that bad!'". When you are in the middle of a war, you normalize things that during peacetime you would view with alarm. It was when I realized the magnitude of my ex's betrayal of me that I started to feel the anger in its entirety...and the grief. I remember going into work, shutting the door to my office, and lying down on the floor to cry for hours...every day. How I didn't lose my job is a miracle.

I thought this at certain points as well. I think now, that every abuser has their "redeeming qualities" .

My ex COULD have had me arrested the one night after I called the cops and then the cop was a jerk and I was going to stretch my independent wings and I threatened to go walk to the police dept and find me a nicer cop (LOL) that guy reached for the cuffs and said, "Are you refusing to cooperate with a police officer" all challenging like, and my Ex says, "You know what? I'll just leave. Okay, lets just go" and he walked that a-hole of a police officer off my steps while the cop was telling him "She only has a modified restraining order against you, THIS IS YOUR HOME TOO, she can't throw you out like this!" And my ex was all calming HIM down so he wouldn't arrest me!!

BUT, this is the guy who tried to strangle me twice, beat me til I was black and blue, lied to all my friends about me, abused my kids, never lifted a finger to help me out when we were together, etc. etc. etc.

I could sit here and think "He's not THAT bad, because he didn't have me arrested when he could have like these other two people's husbands" OR I could sit here and say, "MOST good dads don't beat their kids' moms, or call her names, or never help around the house, or yell at them to make dinner three days after they had a baby, or lie about them to their friends, or forbid them from even having female friends by accusing them of being lesbians, etc. etc. etc."

Do NOT compare you husband to one or two qualities of some of the WORST spouses in history and say, "Well...they're not THAT bad...." because when you have to come to THIS board to find a spouse worse than yours....you're already in really bad shape.

And boy do they LOVE to throw you a nice bone every now and then to make you feel grateful for their evil presence in your life....

My girlfriend that I just wrote about in my other post said, "But, <evil partner> helps me with the kids, and picks them up from school for me on the days I have classes. And <evil partner> says I should be grateful because not very many people want to hook up with someone who has kids....."

And I was like, "AHEM! I've had OFFERS and I have kids! I've just turned them down because I'm not ready. There are a LOT of nice people interested in other people who have kids. And picking them up from school for you three days a week is something that any nice live-in partner would do for someone they were with that they were sharing parental responsibility with. That's not something you need to be eternally indebted to <evil partner> for!"

but it's hard to see when you're "in". When you're "in" you're so grateful for the little shreds of kindness that you forget that these are NORMAL behaviors, not favors bestowed upon you because you don't deserve them

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I don't know what to say other than I can't even imagine how much pain you're in right now. It makes me so angry what he's done to you, and now him holding this over your head. What a monster.

Stay true to your name, please.

((((HanginOn))))

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Hangin' On...I hope it is OK to say this...I hate your husband...there, I said it. :angry-smiley-005: What a mean, vindictive SOB. We used to have a joke around here with one of our other members, Blackbird, who has a vindictive a-hole of an ex, where some of the members would threaten to put on their NInja gear and pay him a visit. I sure would like to do that with yours.

But, as you and I know, all too well, violence doesn't pay...dammit all!

Hangin,I want to offer you a bit of gentle advice. If it resonates with you, by all means take it, if not, then blow it away. I would advise you to never, ever, ever, ever beg that man for anything ever again. He obviously gets sick twisted pleasure from feeling like he has dominion over everything and everyone. I know it is hard, especially when it seems he holds the key to so much that is important to you. Quite honestly, it is hard to imagine that he would follow through with his threat because, as said before, he has skin in the game in making this go away.

This man has taken enough of your dignity and self respect. I wonder what would happen if you called his bluff. What would happen if when he brandishes that same pansy-a$$ed threat, you said "Well, that's your decision". And then calmly walk out of the room?

Instead of thinking of him as having that much power over you, think of him as a toddler in a grown-up's body. A toddler that is too frightened to pick on someone his own size. A toddler that is so egocentric that he believes that the purpose of the lives of his family is to serve his every need. He is like the great Oz, who on the outside is the angry, scarry looking, spitting, loud monster, but in reality he is a scarred little man, pulling at levers to desperately keep reality at bay...that he is a failure as a man.

Hang on to your anger, Hangin'....in it you will find your truth. Don't let him change it to fear again. You have already survived the worst...YOU HAVE SURVIVED something that most people will never have to endure. You survived it, Hangin. That snot nosed baby of a man would not be able to survive half of what you have.

Take back your dignity, Hangin. If he threatens to take away cooperation, your mantra is..That's your decision. If he threatens other stuff...That's your decision.

There is nothing to trust in this man, so don't hang your hat on anything he has to say. That's actually a rather freeing notion, when you really think about it.

So glad to hear from you again, Hangin...I've been thinking of you so much!

Grabby

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You guys are right... And Grabby, you pretty much nailed it when you said "This man has taken enough of your dignity and self respect." I hated myself for begging him again. But I was scared. I've been really afraid of what a conviction will mean for my future. i.e. being on my own and needing to Find employment. I would never be able to legally own a gun again either (come from a big gun family - both hunting and self-protection wise) and.. and.. I need to stop this train of thought -- it will derail me tonight when I'm actually doing pretty good for a change -- anyway, it's mainly employment and background check stuff that could be a big problem..... So. Yes I was scared. And I felt like pond scum for begging him like that again. But I'm not going to let him do that to me again. Like my pastor reminded me today, I cannot control a single thing that my husband does... and ultimately the ONLY thing I can control is my own responses. He HAS taken ENOUGH of my dignity and self respect. He will get NO more. (and he DID change his mind, by the way. He is still gonna meet with the D.A.)

Like I mentioned above, I AM doing somewhat better today. It was very helpful to talk with one of my pastors this morning, but also... I did something. Grabby, you said to hang on to my anger... and I know what you meant. A healthy amount of anger is good and will help me to keep from allowing myself to be abused (work in progress). But I have had way too much anger. I've been carrying the hurt and anger around with me every day & every where I go. Its been seeping into my every thought, every conversation, even every prayer. But at the same time I didn't even want to think about the source of that anger and hurt - which has been mainly the experience I was put through in being arrested & put in jail. Last night I sat down to write... and for about 3 hours I wrote down the whole experience. Every horrible detail along with the thoughts and fears I had while going through it. And ya wanna know what I did with it THEN? I CLOSED it and PUT IT AWAY. Today I feel very much LIGHTER. Yes the anger is still there... but I've put much of it away someplace - I don't have to carry so much of it. I like this lighter feeling, and I DO hope it lasts. But I'm not so naive to think this is the end of my pain over this experience... but it may help me keep it at bay. Thanks for listening.

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Journaling is such a good idea. It always made me feel better. I think lighter is how I felt too. It also helps later when we can go back and read it when we start thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad. It helped me stay in reality instead of denial.

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Well that lightness I felt after writing it all down.."every horrible detail," didn't last. How am I going to do this? How will I get through this?? Hitting bottom pretty hard tonight. I know my feelings aren't something I can trust right now.

But it just hurts SO BAD!

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Yes it hurts! You must be so confused right now. On one hand you don't want to believe that your husband is THAT bad, and on the other, you have reality and it's staring you right in the face. Your rational mind is showing you stuff you can't deny - you found us all and we're confirming your greatest fear, otherwise how did you find us?? and your emotional mind, the one that has loved and lived in marriage to the man for 20 years is saying, surely not!, really?? REALLY?!? Nah, It can't be! But, he did have me arrested, and he did threaten not to speak with the D.A. so I could 'learn', and he did do it on Xmas eve. And your rational brain says, surely he must have known what was going to happen, he knew it wasn't that serious, he wasn't scared. and your emotional mind says, but I've made love to and cared for this man and his children, our children for 20 years, that was my security, my dream -what happened? Am I really abusive? Did I truly assault him? OMG! What's gonna happen to me and my career.

ShITE Hanging On, no wonder you're exhausted and conflicted and confused and angry. Goodness girl, it'll be all you can think about because your future hangs in the balance!

BUT, you have no priors, your husband is talking to the D.A and it was a domestic incident. The likely scenario is they will go VERY easy on you. Just don't plead guilty if it means your career. Ask any of the girls here who were SERIOUSLY assaulted by their husbands what kind of 'justice' their partners got.

You are frightened because it's all an unknown. You fear the law because you are law abiding. There is a lot of truth in the fact that the law is an donkey. We have a saying here that we have a legal system, but it is not a justice system. I always wished I was a defendant because they always seemed to get a good deal.

Think of how we've all jumped behind you here - do you think a judge is an idiot?? I'll start you off. My husband has seriously assaulted me twice and assaulted me a further two times in breach of an intervention order. He has broken into my home and tried to steal my children from school in breach of his order. He has harrassed me and contacted me over the phone in breach of the court's order. He has NEVER been to jail. The worst he got was community serviuce and he plead guilty EVERY time.

I'm sure others have similiar stories to put your mind at ease honey. It's not as bad as it seems :hug005:

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Can you talk to a lawyer? He might drop the charges asap if he realizes it's going to cost money. But don't go in there without a lawyer. don't count on them being nice to you, because according to the stats from Sin by Silence, courts are often harder on women who fight back than on the men (kind of like we EXPECT men to be physically aggressive but when a woman defends herself our society is like "UH NO!")

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Edelweiss -- I do have a lawyer... and He (I assume you mean my husband) cannot drop the charges. It is the D.A. that is pressing the charges now, not my husband. Once my husband made that call it was out of his control.

And BG -- Yes, the confusion you described is very much how I feel right now. And yes, I know that if I am convicted and sentenced, they will go easy on me. But "easy" here, I've heard is 12 months probation with a manditory 24 to 36 weeks of Domestic Violence "treatment" classes (along with certain rights taken away from me and having a criminal record). On probation?? Domestic violence classes?? NO WAY! I CANNOT AND WILL NOT BE THAT PERSON!! I just CAN'T! My counselor is trying to get me to mentally/emotionally prepare for that possible outcome so I don't go off the deep end if it happens. But I can't. Because I am NOT that person and I WON"T let them do that to me. If my husband (the "victim") can't get them to drop the charges then my lawyer will take a shot at it also. Otherwise I will be pleading NOT GUILTY and exercise my right to a trial with a jury of my peers. Surely we can convince 12 ordinary people how asinine this is.

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((((((((HanginOn)))))))))

You are experiencing the normal roller coaster of emotion right now. I remember being exhausted by it. Just as I was thinking I had turned a corner, I was slammed by the grief and fear all over again. As time went on, the interval between the bad days got longer and longer...that will happen with you as well.

If the charges aren't dropped, I hope you are able to go to trial and fight. I think it is healthy for you to do that.

As for having to accept probation and madatory domestic violence classes...I can understand how reprehensible that seems to you...I truly can. A few years ago another member of this forum was charged with battery because she slapped her husband in the face after he was screaming obsenities at her, nose to nose with her. He called the cops. She decided to plead it out and she complied with the class requirements (I don't remember if she got probabtion). And she promptly divorced his a$$. She struggled with anger and outrage, but she survived it, and has moved on. She doesn't post here anymore but we are Facebook friends and it looks like she is leading a happy, productive life, 3 years after what was a very dark time for her.

What I am trying to say here, Hangin, is that whatever happens, you will survive. It will suck...it does suck...it is terribly, terribly unfair. But you will survive it. I know that has been my theme in my posts to you. I guess that is because I remember wondering myself if I would survive. You are not weak. You are strong. And your kiddos need you...you are their only normal parent.

On Wednesday, I have to meet with a custody evaluator as I have filed for physical custody of my daughter. She is 12 and Mooch is beginning to pull the mind game crap on her that he did on me and my 20 year old. I met yesterday with a consultant who used to be an evaluator and he role played with me. He had me talk about the night I was arrested. I hated telling that story again. And I am petrified to tell the evaluator...I am so afraid that she won't believe me that I was not the abusive one in the scenario. But my consultant (who used to be the supervisor of the evaluator assigned to me) told me that if I just stick to the facts, and tell the story as it happened, that there is no way that she wouldn't believe me. I hope he is right.

Last night I realized that, as scared as I am about telling this story to someone who has such power over me, it is my first opportunity to have my "day in court". It is my first opportunity to say publicly "This is what this man has done to me an my children. He is emotionally unstable, he is manipulative, abusive and he is a threat to my daughter's health and safety". It is time to hold him accountable for his actions.

If you do end up going to trial, I hope that you will be able to view it in this way...as terrifying as the experience will be. You know that this is a bunch of BS. Now convince the world of such.

Is there a way you can get away from your husband for some time...to get some peace?

Grabby

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