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HanginOn

My Husband had me arrested

254 posts in this topic

Eidi16~

When were you arrested? In what state? Were the charges dropped?

Men who use law enforcement to have their wives arrested when there is no threat of danger do this because it will give them leverage in the event of divorce. Your husband knew very well what this type of criminal record would do to you. This is another form of abuse.

My X did the same to me. In fact, he had been trying to set it up for months. I was so humiliated from the experience I thought I would die. But when I learned of the set up I went into full blown panic attack. This was in January of 2000. I divorced him. I wanted nothing more to do with him. 

Tal

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HanginOn~

Are you still with your husband? 

I divorced my X in 2003. He died 2014. I was there to see him on his death bed. He had cancer and could not move other than to squeeze my hand to answer my questions in the affirmative or negative. He was completely paralyzed but was agonizingly aware. 

 

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Eidi16,

You'd think after a week of thinking about it, I would know what to say -- how to reply.  It's been almost 4 1/2 years now, for me.  And, yes, I'm doing really well now.  But I didn't get though it easily.. if you've read much of the 10 pages of this thread that would be very apparent.  It's been a long road - even after I stopped posting here. The two things that have helped me the most are TIME and more important -- my relationship with God.  He's gotten me thru this. Period.  Well, He's gotten me to where I am now, anyway.  Since I still have some PTSD I guess I'm not completely through it.  But it really is truely amazing where I am now.

And some of you are wondering... and the answer is, yes, I divorced my huband.  It took awhile though.  I've been single and free for a year and a half now.  Eidi16, I have no idea about what your husband is like.. if there has been other abuse - or on-going abuse from him.  Or what your relationship is like now.  So I'm not going to tell you you need to get away from him.. divorce him.  BUT, I will tell you that THAT is what I had to do.  I was dying in that situation.  The constant fear, not being able to even start to get better (the PTSD) until I was away from him.  And as far as you holding a grudge.. of course you do.  He has no idea the truely devestating effect what he did has had on you.  Yeah, him being reminded about what he did to you is unpleasent for him.. but if you are anything like me,  you probalby live with weekly, maybe even daily painful reminders.  It was a horrible horrible thing that your husband, the one whoose supossed to protect you, did to you.  So if you have a painful reminder.. are you supposed to protect him from unpleasentness and keep it to yourself???  If there is NO abuse from him in your realationship, I would say some good counseling (for both of you) is the only way you're going to get through this, marrage wise, and even so it's gonna be tough.  If your husband IS abusive.. forget the joint coulseling.  Marriage counseling with an abusive husband doesn't work and is asking for trouble.  And if that IS the case, your husband is abusing towards you, you need to seriosly consider getting out.  Circumstances may make that seem impossible - I know it did for me..  But you don't deserve to live like that.

So that's what I have to say, for what it's worth.  And I do want to say, again, because it's the one biggest factor in where I'm at now, that without God's help, I probably would have opted for taking the bottle of pills that I used to talk so much about.  If you want to talk more about that your welcome to personal-message me.  And, actually, I am going to have to un-link this thread to my email.  I can't handle having, at any time, the title of my thread "My husband had me arrested" appear on my phone.  It's a huge trigger.  And I don't want to come back to this thread on here, really.  But I you do want to talk about any of this some more, go ahead and personal-message me and I will come back and check it -- or maybe I can keep that link to my email, just not the thread (I'll have to check).  Good luck Eidi16.  I wish you the best.

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