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Found 3 results

  1. I know that my husband and I are not good as a couple. He belittles the kids and I, he is controlling and manipulative, he has anger issues. We have established that we need to divorce. Yet, if I divorce him, I risk the kids being alone with him and not having me to buffer his anger and I will not be there for the kids (ages 9 &10) when he acts up. I cannot risk loosing my kids. I quit my career to stay home, raise the kids and to allow him to take his career to next level. I now have no money, I'm trying to rebuild my real estate career in a new area & although we are trying to do this as friends, he just told me he doesn't want to pay for anything for me and that I should pay 1/2 the rent which is $2600 total. I was making considerably more $ than he when we married. I got him the job he gas today (litterally-I made a resume for him, sent it out, etc). We are living together as "friends" & he still emotionally abuses me, but what are my options if I don't have a solid income yet and why does it hurt soooo much to acknowledge the 13 yr old marriage is over when I know it's wrong to stay? Pls help. Thank you, I am really hurting and confused from all of his mental games and I don't trust my own judgement now.
  2. Hello all, I am new to the forum world and my recent post that was responded to provided much needed help and guidance and comforted me with much needed hope, compassion and understanding. Thank you. I am struggling to get the strength to leave my emotionally and verbally abusive husband of 13 years. I am strategizing a way out rather than staying in the seemingly safe place of denial and minimizing. While I am still living with him, I am starting to document the abuse on a calendar along with the comments that my children share about not wanting to be left alone with him, etc. I would love any pearls of wisdom from those who have walked this path before me. Any advice on what else I should document? Any guidance for better enabling my 9 and 10 year old children about how to deal with the abuse? Now that I am starting to recognize the abuse as the controlling and manipulative acts that it is, I am starting to non-confrontationally (just trying to keep my children and myself safe) address this with the abuser as I feel that this is a necessary step to show my children. Any insight/suggestions on how to help my children adjust to the possibility of not having me around 24/7 to buffer the situations with their Dad? Thank you in advance.
  3. This feels really strange but here goes. I grew up in an incredibly physically and verbally abusive and dysfunctional home. My natural father knew I was being abused but still refused contact with me from the age of 3. I called him the first time when I was 12 after I got out of the hospital. He would not help me. The abuse escalated. When my mothers husband would say "You stupid little wh*re you think your so smart" Things were going to be really bad. Fast forward. I met my H and we had four amazing kids. H was an alcoholic. Funny how you trade one for another. He never hit me so I thought it was ok. I was 8 months pg with our first when I became a c*nt. But he didn't hit me. When he was good and drunk he would explain how very difficult it was to be such an intelligent man and be married to someone as stupid as me. He was arrested three times for assault. He liked to fight with men when he was drunk. We had all four kids when he went into a depression. Someone had told him I had slept with a guy I will call Sam before I met him. That was two years before I met my husband. He asked me if it was true and I told him yes. Why would I lie? I was a faithful wife. He came to me and gave me a hug then said "Why did you wait 8 yrs to tell me what a wh*re you are? That was the day I quit trying. Anyway, things never got any better. I was making plans to leave 6 yrs later when he died. I have tried to enforce the idea that the kids dad loved them and would have done anything for them. That is true. The oldest two still remember some of it but the younger two do not. I have never remarried and I do not have a relationship as I seem to have poor taste in men. History is repeating itself with my daughter. How do I explain what her father was doing and what her husband is doing is SO VERY WRONG without saying anything bad about her father?