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About Hope41

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    Welcome Member
  1. Yes it is absolutely abusive. On the opposite end of the scale my ex used to constantly call me names as I was very thin. I remember one night he hugged me and said I felt like someone from a concentration camp then rolled over. He used to take me to dress shops and make me try on clothes and said I looked better than what I chose to wear and would make a long sigh whilst I stood there. I was very self conscious
  2. Thank that has really helped
  3. Yes I think it is PTSD and I was told that years ago but did not want to listen. With the dreams it's really only when I'm anxious or there has been something to remind me of him,but over the years if they become bad I too can force myself to wake up from them
  4. Whilst I have been out of the abusive relationship for many years now I still feel I am still so affected, I don't know why I still feel this way, I think I should have got somewhat over it by now. I received communication in regards to child support and something as simple as that has triggered me off. Have been having terrible nightmares and inappropriate dreams about my ex. I get scared when I see someone that resembles him in the street . Does this ever end?
  5. I don't believe it was good practice for the social worker to suggest a joint session. Also I know some counselling services for men who perpetuate dv let the men know they are going to inform their partners how they are progressing or not.its a way of being transparent and for the men to take accountability, take care, be strong
  6. Thanks very much.you are all so helpful:)
  7. Hi all, i need some suggestions on how to relax,I am so stressed to the point of almost vomiting:( even though my daughter is home and I'm loving it,the house is in chaos with having to come home and clean up after her animals for hours on top of everything else. My house is wrecked because of them.can not even get peace to have a bath or watch television i am exhausted.. i don't want to say anything as I know what she has been through
  8. Child support, pfft, my ex has purposely not worked for 20 years to avoid paying it. I am so glad you don't have to live with his nasty games, good on you!!!
  9. I know how you feel I haven't been in a relationship for 20 years, well hang on mine wasn't a relationship. I just find it too hard and with the abuse I went through makes me not want to . I feel I will never have a relationship
  10. That is terrible, you said you are on disability? Do you have to rely on him because of your disability?
  11. Will have to have a look for the book ,thanks
  12. So on top of everything my daughter has moved back home, from what I am hearing her boyfriend was very controlling,my heart is breaking that he is like this to her.I love having her back but I am struggling so much myself, I am not sure how to support her, I think she will go back to him, I really want to stop her!
  13. Thanks heaps. Its going to be difficult ,being in a physically abusive relationship with a man years ago and a controlling mother all my life has taken away all my assertiveness and worth. i honesty think I would have been on the road to healing from my ex partners abuse if it wasn't for my mother.Her behaviour makes me remember his tactics. its not helpful that she will tell me that I brought him into the family and they were affected by his actions.i know they were but the things he did had I had no control of. I had no one but my parents to help me during that time.he should have went to jail for what he did but didn't.
  14. I have found counselling where I don't need a referral.so calling them tomorrow and they do evening appointments too.
  15. Things are getting worse. Trying to put boundaries in place, don't answer my phone and my mother calls my work. So ashamed I just can't deal with it anymore