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About Hope41

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    Welcome Member
  1. Will have to have a look for the book ,thanks
  2. So on top of everything my daughter has moved back home, from what I am hearing her boyfriend was very controlling,my heart is breaking that he is like this to her.I love having her back but I am struggling so much myself, I am not sure how to support her, I think she will go back to him, I really want to stop her!
  3. Thanks heaps. Its going to be difficult ,being in a physically abusive relationship with a man years ago and a controlling mother all my life has taken away all my assertiveness and worth. i honesty think I would have been on the road to healing from my ex partners abuse if it wasn't for my mother.Her behaviour makes me remember his tactics. its not helpful that she will tell me that I brought him into the family and they were affected by his actions.i know they were but the things he did had I had no control of. I had no one but my parents to help me during that time.he should have went to jail for what he did but didn't.
  4. I have found counselling where I don't need a referral.so calling them tomorrow and they do evening appointments too.
  5. Things are getting worse. Trying to put boundaries in place, don't answer my phone and my mother calls my work. So ashamed I just can't deal with it anymore
  6. Thanks everyone xx
  7. Hugs to you not your fault
  8. Thanks Tendrils
  9. Thank- you What Now, i am glad you made that first step, thank you for sharing that with me, has given me confidence for tomorrow:)
  10. So I have made an appointment tomorrow to see my gp, to get a referral to see a psychologist or counsellor. I have never really spoken to anyone properly in fear that if my ex took me to court to get access to the kids it would be used against me,now they are older that's not possible now. what do I tell my doctor? I am very embarrassed to also tell him about my mother. I hope I can get out of bed tomorrow, I didn't get out of bed until 12:30 today and haven't even had a shower. bit scared of being home alone tonight as my daughter is going to work!!
  11. I made an appointment with my gp tomorrow to get a referral for counselling. I spoke to a dv helpline and they said due to the past abuse I should look for specialist counselling . But how do I explain about my mother to the doctor? I feel embarrassed
  12. Thank you very much, I didn't think of it as physical abuse, I understand it now though
  13. Thank you. I feel ashamed as I just don't have any strength to stand up for myself. My chilldren are not little, both late teens. I don't live with my mother but she lives with my father a two minute drive away. i just feel so trapped and have had to put up with abusivse people majority of my life. iam going to try and find some counselling for myself but that is so difficult because I work five days a week and will have to ask for time off and then try hide it from my mother as she constantly rings to check on me
  14. I'm new to this forum, I am hoping to get some support, I'm not sure what I need really.I basically have no one and I am so very down to the point I have self harmed tonight. I was in a relationship about 20 years ago and went through some terrible domestic violence, I went through a terrible and frightening assault after I decided to leave my partner.I was six months pregnant at the time and had a toddler, both his children. I was too busy trying to get through the pregnancy and get help for my daughter, I never got decent help for myself. my ex has over the years still continued to contact me and threatened me with various agencies,never succeeded though. i also experience family violence from my mother, not physical by terribly controlling and emotional abuse.Today things got really bad and she prevented me from leaving my home, I am so distraught and ashamed