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About Vickeee

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    Welcome Newbie

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  1. Wow, that is a very confusing conversation. I can also understand why you would want some feedback. I completely agree with the other replies. They were right one. I don't have much to add. It did seem like you were being attacked over and over. I doubt there would have been any "kind" way to express your feelings. Or any "right" way to say that you wanted to talk when AC wasn't doing the dishes, which is a perfectly reasonable request, even if AC doesn't understand why. Honoring your request is the respectful thing to do. It's not ok to use it as an excuse to attack you. That's how it read to me. Like the whole conversation was about attacking you and anything could have started it. I might be projecting my relationships on this situation. Also, I found this part triggering. This is not ok. I hope this isn't harsh. It just seems SO familiar. It seems like this is a final dig and threat all in one, enveloped in smugness and condescension. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. (((((((( Virtual hug ))))))))
  2. Congratulations Melinoe! I hope you're proud of that, I really think taking the opportunity show some major strength of character.
  3. Melinoe, yes. It's really hard. Thank you for the reading advice. I truly appreciate it. I've started on "Why Does He Do That?", the boundaries book is in my queue Blueskye, that's exactly it. He does seem to see us as competitors instead of a team.
  4. Wow. Thank you for your comments. I never even thought of it as a possible "supply" thing, or a power move, or even as him taking something of mine, but when I think about it he does act like he thinks he should have some of the things I have; my home, my accomplishments, and even my dog. I really didn't think of it in those terms before. I just thought he was behaving very oddly. It makes a lot of sense as a power move too, I remember the look on his face. He does this when I'm cooking too. He tries to tell me what to do and how when he never cooks, doesn't know how, yet seems to know exactly what I should be doing. Last time I was making some shrimp and he started telling me what to do and I was just so tired of hearing it. I stopped, turned off the stove, and told him to go ahead and cook them, you know, since he's the expert. He said he didn't know how and stood there looking at the pan, then he asked me for instructions. I don't understand that. It's SO frustrating. I feel like he's on me about so many things and I'm constantly being scrutinized. I really don't want to be in another abusive relationship. My mom has some sort of personality disorder and life while growing up was just insane, so it's hard to tell what's healthy vs unhealthy behavior and how big of a deal the unhealthy behavior is until I've spent years in the abusive relationship. I'm really trying to avoid that. I feel like crying.
  5. Hi everyone. I can't tell you how happy I am to have a place where I can actually *talk* about what's going on and hopefully get some perspective. I don't really know where to begin and feel a little overwhelmed, well a lot overwhelmed, to write about it all. So, I'd like to ask about something specific and if anyone else ran into something like this. I have an 13yr old dog that I share with my ex (a whole other story). I get him for 2 weeks, then he gets him for 2 weeks. BF spends the nights here on the weekends and is really weird about my dog. Like overly concerned with him. Insisting I get him a blanket when it's warm inside. Insisting I make sure he's ok, when I know he is. He makes these noises. He has for a while. I've taken him to the vet. It's under control. The vet says he's really healthy for his size and age. So, I think I've done a good job, but then even writing here I'm starting to feel like maybe I don't because it seems like nothing but concern and maybe I am lax with his care, but then I've had him for almost 13 yrs. I feel like he's constantly on me about him. I walk him everyday when I have him. One time BF was here and I was taking O (my dog) for a walk and he grabbed the leash off it's spot, put it on the dog, and took off out the door. I thought it was weird so, I asked for the leash back and he just flat out said "no", how I get to see him more than he does and refused to give me the leash back. It made me feel really uncomfortable. I don't know what to think. I know I'm presenting this out of the entire context of the relationship so it might be hard to tell. I just don't have the time to write about it all right now and I feel like I'm losing my mind. It seems so trivial, so small and yet it bothers me so much. I could really use some perspective. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it.
  6. You haven't done anything wrong. You're in a very difficult situation. It's okay to stay status quo until you can gather the strength leave, and you do deserve better.
  7. Hi there. I also think it's lying. Mine does this all the time. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. I know how maddening it can be.
  8. This is helpful. Thank you. Mine is like this too. He's a social worker. Quiet, soft spoken, introverted. It's SO confusing. He can read the slightest emotion change in me yet he doesn't seem to notice my pain when it's his words that hurt me. I guess unless that's the goal. To hurt me. It's just so hard to understand why he would do that. He seems so nice sometimes. He does the checked out thing too. His parents are old and somewhat close to death yet when we have dinner with them, he gets bored and starts reading the news on his phone, even when they're trying to talk to him. Then when we get home he talks about how upset he is that they're so sick. It's unbelievable.