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About Betty

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    Welcome Member
  1. It's so strange isn't it to realise he doesn't think of you as a human just like he is. That book has been such an important book for me. I read it often, it helps give me the energy to keep on with my plan to leave.
  2. Hi SMB I'm new here too. He sounds absolutely awful! So glad you've decided to split up with him. Great too that you're building up your support system, good for you
  3. I don't think that my partner is 100% evil in every single thing he does. Sometimes he is loving and empathetic. I don't see my relationship in all black or white fashion. Its more complicated than just black or whote. I'm still leaving him though because on a regular basis he is abusive. I totally understand why his being so loving confuses you now. I've often been confused too. I'll still leave my partner though - I have been through 16 years of this and I know that he will be abusive again. The loving caring period never lasts. But I don't personally think my partner is 100% evil in everything he does.. Wish you well
  4. I tried to talk to my teapot about it. But each time I brought it up she just said nothing. I tried to talk about it to friends for years. They told me he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried to tell my Dad. He told me it's very painful being alone. I told the domestic violence support worker. Who put me in a class for women who've already left their partners. It was so upsetting. When she realised how upsetting it was for me she contacted me to say they would put me in a class for women who are still in the relationship. I never heard back. I could go on. I decided not to seek help from anyone anymore cause the "help" I've recieved has been too damned painful. I decided I will help myself. Build myself up as best I can. Work towards getting away slowly but surely. I guess I decided I am going to rescue myself
  5. Thanks hoping, for sure! Still feel odd. I've wanted to talk to someone that would understand about this relationship for years and years. But I don't feel able to ?!?
  6. People pleasing is an issue. Though I don't want to anymore. It's not something you can just turn off is it.
  7. Doodied the other day, and it kind of expresses it. Fear and sadness trapped in neat lines..
  8. Thanks both. It's good to read that you've both come out the other side. I've found it unbeleivably difficult to reply to this topic again. I feel so stuck. Paralyzed almost. Hope you can understand.
  9. Great reactions from you. Great to read this too. Happy for ya, wish you well
  10. So sorry you're going through this! Is he like this a lot? Thats all sorts of games in one conversation. Sounds very like my relationship - lots of really crazy making behaviour that's not so blatantly awful that you can pin down exactly what they are up to. Rather, lots and lots of little shocks. And nothing you do fixes anything. Used to drive me really nuts. Reading Patricia Evans the Verbally Abusive Relationship really helped me understand games they play to wind us up. And how we are coming from a torally different place too. Wish you well
  11. Thanks for the welcome I don't know, but I think maybe having wanted to talk all of this out for so many years. And having gotten nowhere for so many years has built up and built up. Even though I can see clearly what's happened a lot of the time. Maybe spreading things has become too automatic. Also, I guess opening up to others is hard cause I've not been believed so often! I guess I can take one step at a time here. I can already tell that people here are very likely to get just what I'm talking about. Which is great actually. A relief
  12. He sounds like my partner. I wish you a speedy and good getaway. May you be happy in your new home
  13. Hi everyone. I've been in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship, for around 15 years. I will be able to leave him sometime this year and just knowing that is the best thing that's happened to me for years. When I try to make sense of what I've gone through, there's just so much bizarre stuff and so much pain that I really don't know where to begin. I think though one of the most painful things has been not really being believed for such a very long time. I hope maybe I might be able to start that process somewhat here. Love to all who can relate.