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Vampydoll

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About Vampydoll

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  1. Seeing we live up here in NYS, there was a windstorm sort of like a Hurricane and it did so much damage, they declared a state of emergency in my county. It's cold and we were freezing with no heat. I didn't think I could make it through the night. I actually was dumb. It was like being outside but inside the house. No lights, the food spoiled in the fridge so we had no choice to take ourselves to a hotel and there was only one room left. Well, what do you know? I finally got lucky. Not so much. I was worried about my 91 year old mother and so we took her with us. Oy vey! It was HELL on wheels. She suffers from hearing loss and as you may have read about my situation before, there was a time when I considered leaving the abuser and moving with her but I guess I know realize that that is not gonna happen unless I live on Vicodin for my chronic migraines, and tranquilizers for my bad anxiety. She was constantly complaining about the room, the beds, the food, the tv, the ...etc. She blasted and I mean blasted that tv so loud you could hear it in China and she is always cold so she turned up the heat. I left the room to go use the internet in the lobby and when I came back, I could have taken all my clothes off and pretended I was in a sauna trying to lose weight! It was stifling hot! And the stench. She has incontinence and she stinks. Plain and simple. We have been over this problem again and again, but no doctors for her. She needs a ring placed in her bladder to stop this and she has 2 friends that have had this done but yet, she refuses and she also refuses the hearing aid so there I am, suffering from horrible debilitating migraines because of the smell and the tv blasting. I politely asked her to turn it down but she didn't like that. She would turn it down but next thing I knew it was blasting away again. I ended up taking my Vicodins and I took about 4 that day when the doctor only allows me 2 but it was either that or throw up from the noise and the smell. Dirty yellow towels on the floor in the bathroom I don't know what happened in there but I had to get room freshener because of the stench. I cannot stand the smell. I would never do anything to hurt her feeling but she smells. And it is horrible! Sorry to be complaining, I know I am blessed to have a mother that age and God forbid and forgive me if she dies, but she is very very difficult to deal with and a shrew besides. I couldn't watch TV because it was all her shows. Nothing for me. I thought it was selfish but yet I said nothing. And my husband bought her dinner and she never put her hand in her pocket and we are on a fixed income and I don't work, he is disabled and right now, I am worrying about losing my health insurance because I am one of the 20 plus million americans that have the Affordable Care Act aka ObamaCare. So I would hope that she would be a little more generous in co operating money wise but she wasnt'. Finally I couldn't wait to leave when we got word that our electricity had been restored and she wanted to stay another night I put my foot down. I told her I was going home and we would pick her up the next day but she went off and got ready to go. She was sitting in the lobby while my husband paid the hotel bill and she had problems getting off the chair. I was hold my purse and my dog because they were kind enough to let my dog come and stay with us but when she couldn't get off the chair, I put my hand out to pull her up. She started crying like a baby and pushed me away. She called over to some complete stranger in the lobby and asked her. She claimed the woman was stronger than me and told her I was weak and needed a strong arm. Well? that hurt my feelings. And sleeping during the night? forget it. She was talking to herself. I kept hearing "Jennie go to sleep" over and over again. She was eating Tums. I guess she had heart burn and was digging in a paper bag making a racket. I wanted to kill myself. I also got her mad at me because she told me I had to go to bed at 11:00 and I wanted to watch TV because I hadn't had any enjoyment all day so I watched "Forrest Gump" and she said that was awful and "can't they show some GOOd movies? LOL Forrest Gump was nominated for what? about 7 academy awards and Tom Hanks got the Oscar. Excuse me! So that was time. Which made me realize I CANT LIVE WITH HER. VAMPYDOLL
  2. thank you. Makes me feel better just to know I'm not nuts because I feel the way I do. He is impossible and I am stuck with him. At least for the time being. Always have my eyes open and always have hope.
  3. Hello one and all. I have been a member of this forum for a while though I rarely get a chance to post. (privacy is an issue in my home) but my dear wonderful husband, and I mean that with the most strictest of sarcasm, had the nicest thing to say to me today. I went to get my hair dyed and even though I am near 60 years of age, I must admit I have had a good plastic surgeon. He took about 10 years off and I continue to see him twice a year. I dye my hair golden blonde, have very large green eyes and good skin. I was asked to become a parts model by a good agency when I was a mere 19 years of age, but my mother, being ignorant, thought it was nude modeling and forbid me to do it. Today, my hair stylist who has done the hair of Melania Trump and Christie Brinkley while she worked for Frederick Fekkai in NYC, told me I should be a hair model. I thought it was a great compliment and told her I missed my chance many years ago when I was young. She then showed me some photos of women 60 and up that are working as models in this day and age. She also told me that if anyone ever asks me again for head shots, I should take them up on it. I was asked for Swarovski Crystal too a few years back but just laughed being 58. I thought it was a nice compliment and she gets no advantage to what she said because I have been seeing her now for about 3 years and I never had the thought of leaving her salon. She is a great stylist. And to think she did Christie Brinkley and our first Lady, Melania Trump is quite a feather in her cap. When I told my husband, he just laughed at me, making me feel my age, making me feel ugly and told me I should be a TV model and do a commercial for prune juice. Well? that hurt my feelings because he is insulting and makes me feel very small. Needless to say I did not find it funny in the least. And all this evening he is insulting me. Telling me I live my own little world. Because I like makeup and fashion and am obsessed with Christian Louboutin shoes. But why not do what makes you happy? And why does he have to hurt me? I know I'm old but I do try my best to stay young looking even though my arthritis is in my neck and I am post menopausal, suffer from Graves' Disease and was diagnosed years ago with a benign brain tumor. When will my skin get thicker? Or does it never happen? I am open to comments as he made me cry. Vampy
  4. Thank you everyone for all your comments and support. I haven't been around because I have privacy issues. But I do appreciate everything said. I do love my mother but it reminds me a lot of that old Shakespeare play "The Taming of the Shrew.' my headaches are bad and no one understands them unless they have the pain. the pain is horrible. Taking them like jelly beans made me laugh. I thank you for that. Today was the day from Hell. He took her grocery shopping which I cannot stand so instead I made them drop me off at the gym. Well? I felt invisible because when they picked me up, for two people that were enemies, they are now 2 peas in a pod. Just like "peas and carrots" as Forrest Gump would have said. (sorry just saw that movie.) anyway, I got ignored. Sometimes I wonder if I die first which could always be a possibility what would happen? would they find themselves best friends? Would they come to the cemetery to put flowers on my grave? doubt it. I do have the upper hand. Bitchy? You bet but I'm starting the new year out right. For once in my life, I'm going to really try to put myself first. As far as moving in with her, no way would I last. I would like to get away from the rotten monster I am with, but she is not the answer. The urine smell has got to go. That is an automatic migraine for me. She stinks with all those old underwears that my father wore she pads herself up with. Doesn't she smell this? It is horrendous stench. It actually turns me stomach. And to think I have to go there for Thanksgiving? Her bathroom is not far from her kitchen. I better load up on medications. I will be vomiting. I certainly want her to live forever. Please don't think I'm heartless but this just cannot go on with the crazy stuff. Since my father died, it has not been good. He was the rock I broke myself up against. He supported me, he was the best father in the world.
  5. Wow, I've never heard of this before. Makes no sense. He is definitely not all there. I think he's playing "Macho Man." Showing what he can get or what he Thinks he can get? He is nuts.
  6. This is just a question. I apologize if it was written before. I do think I read somewhere on this forum - not sure. My dear husband ( and I use that with sarcasm) asked me what I wanted for dinner Monday night. I said "let's get a pizza/" And he said "no." We had pizza last week but the pizza was on sale Monday so that's why I thought it would be good to get it. Nevertheless, he refused. Okay no biggie. Then Tuesday he says "what do you want for dinner?" and I said I wanted a barbequed chicken. So he refused again. He said "when are you going to eat that?" and because I couldn't give him a specific time, he refused to order it! Can you believe this? So then on Wednesday, I was nauseated. Had a very bad headache all day. When I feel like vomiting, I eat things that will coat my stomach like vanilla ice cream or cottage cheese. So he said he would stop at the store and get me the cottage cheese! Yay! LOL And then I asked him if he would stop at Walgreens because the M&M's were on sale and that's my guilty pleasure. Love M&M.s So he blew up! He said "I'm not going to make 2 stops." WTF? The supermarket was on the way home going in the same direction, and Walgreens is on the corner about 5 blocks where our house. He has to drive that way anyway. But he yelled and screamed at me. Mad me cry because I had such nausea and pain and then I don't need his big mouth yelling at me. It turns out he went to 3 places finally. the supermarket, Walgreens for the candy and then the submarine shop for himself. Oh really? What happened to his refusing to make 2 stops? He made 3! This shows how selfish he is and self centered. When it comes to his fat stomach, he worries. When it comes to me I can starve. BTW, I just might. I am 5'4" and weigh a huge 95 pounds. I am very thin from Graves' Disease. But he doesn't care if I disappear. Men! they suck! Vampydoll
  7. thank you Quaddie. You are so right!! I never thought of that. I can CALL an attorney when I have privacy. As a matter of fact, I am thinking of changing my Will so that might be a good time to seek advise about all of this crap I am going through. And Thank you Bennu! It makes good sense about the head games they play. I try not to let it get to me. I know I am an intelligent person. I passed the Property and Casualty licensing test here in New York the first time. Not too many people do. Thank you writing and your support. I am learning a lot. I just feel something has to give sooner or later. I just keep hanging in there.
  8. Kudos to you!!! I envy you for planning to get free. I don't have any answers for myself. I do have a feeling that someday I will. One can only hope. Until then, I just hang out around here. It's a good catharsis to be able to vent my upsets which are on a daily basis. As far as control freaks go, I live with one and he had the nerve to tell me yesterday which day I should wash my hair. Can you believe this? He pays for my hair dye and that's the ONLY thing he pays for. So now he thinks he can tell me when to wash my hair. Such an donkey! I hate him.
  9. I live in the suburbs. I do think there is a bus line but I have to walk several blocks to get to it and then wait. The bus only goes so far. I know it goes downtown, but it's dangerous and really no jobs there unless I had bank experience which I don't. Our downtown is like a ghost town. So the malls is where the jobs are. We had a mall but they closed it. The next mall is 26 miles away where I was offered a job so I hear that bus only goes there 2 times a day. And in the winter here, it's pretty brutal. I imagine I would freeze to death waiting for the bus and just walking to it when it's zero degrees.. I don't know any other way to get where I am going. As far as a lawyer, good luck with that. I have to have a day when he goes somewhere and then rents a car so I can take our car and then I would have to have an appointment to see an attorney. This whole thing is just trapped like a rat. I can get to see one but that would take some planning. Today I had the migraine from absolute hell and I had to call her and I told her I was so sick. I want to throw up sometimes the pain is so bad and alls he had to say was "can you go to the post office for me tomorrow and then go to the bank and make a deposit?" This angered me because she has no respect for the horrible, unbearable pain that migraines cause. I can't even see straight and I have to go to the bank? Is she insane? No, she's just selfish and self centered. It's "all about her." Completely all about her. And she doesn't understand what the hell a headache is unless she had this debilitating pain. So I stood up to her. I don't give a rat's donkey if she gets mad. I told her "I'll see how I feel." And then she got nasty and told me her bills were going to be late unless I made it to the post office but that's just stupid. I happen to know that the one bill she is worrying about is due October 14th! And it only takes 2 days to get to the credit card company. She is so full of crap! And the other is her car insurance. She is paying a huge premium for something she doesn't use then she complains about the money. Does this make sense? She should sell the damned car and be over it. So I had to put the phone down. My head was aching so badly. When I picked it back up, she had hung up on me. So that's about it. No respect. BTW, did you ever see that Bravo series "Shahs of Sunset?" There is a woman on there. Her name is "MJ." And her mother is a tyrant. They call her "Vida." That's my mother, she is Vida exactly like her. Unbearable. I have been reading everyone's replies and posts and realize that I have to try to take care of myself. Just trying to find a doctor for my problems is number one to me. And everyone else at this point can go to Hell. When I have the pain, I am wild. I am so sick. Nauseated, I have aura and it's complete hell where I could just chop my head off.
  10. That's what I want to do. Imagine getting offered 2 jobs with just walking through Macy's? A woman wants me to come work for her with Estee Lauder which I used to do years ago and a friend of mine, offered me a job selling sunglasses in the mall. But nope! can't work because I have no car and that selfish mother won't let me borrow hers even though she isn't driving. She is always bitching at me about spending money but it's really none of her business what I buy because she certainly isn't paying for it. I try to please myself. I love shoes and makeup and handbags. And she is always bitching about the money I spend. Is it any of her business? If I go broke it's my business if my credit card doesn't get paid. Right now I'm looking for Christmas presents because I buy my own. My husband does buy me anything and just because I want designer shoes and believe me, I am worth it! she bitches at me. Wants me to go for cheap shoes. Well? I paid my dues when I worked earning crap so I saved a little and I want to enjoy it. I AM SO SICK OF DOMINATING PEOPLE. I am 58 years old. Not 16 I don't need any a-holes telling me what to do!
  11. thank you for everyone's reply. Ideas and all. Yes he is trying to get on her good side so they can conspire against me. And she tries to say he's dominant but she is just as dominate as he is. So birds of a feather...you know the saying. I did speak to her about that car that is low miles and rotting, literally rotting In her garage and she said that "she owns it." She started to cry and said she feels terrible about me being stranded but she just cannot give it to me to even borrow because it's the only thing she has ever felt she has owned in her entire life that she has control of. Does this make sense? so no, she will not let me even drive it. She has had it 5 years now and I must admit, I was on the passenger side just once. I don't even remember what type of car it is because she keeps it in the garage and now she told me it's dead. Probably just the battery or maybe it needs a new battery. God only knows. She just paid her car insurance. She is wasting money and she just got her new registration. None of this turnips makes sense to me because it is rotting. With the heat we have had this summer, I wouldn't be surprised if it was stuck to the concrete in the garage. My father was possessive of his cars and now that he's dead, she is the same way! I remember how she cried when she tried to drive them and he would stand in back of the car. He would just about make her run him over. Now she is the same way. And the hearing aid is just stupid. I am so sick of repeating and repeating. My uncle died recently and when he died, he left a box of hearing aids so she put one in her ear and could hear very well. So everyone was happy and saying she was going to get fitted for one. and I just said "bulldust." I know she isn't going to go and low and behold I was right. I know the drill. Living with her would be a constant migraine for me. I cannot stand the TV. She has the volume turned up so high, you can hear it in the driveway. Sometimes she doesn't even hear the telephone ringing! And I had her over our house to watch TV and we keep the volume at 10 or 11 but I had to turn it up to 14! I have migraine medication I take, it's called Imitrex. But the doctor only wants me to take it 3 days per week. The other days I have to take Vicodin. And I am afraid I am addicted to Vicodin now. I just about live on it. The headaches are from Hell. There is no escape. So as you say, living with either one of them is Hell on wheels. I just try to take it a day at a time but there is a good possibility I will end up in Rehab because I think I have an opiate addiction and it isn't from getting high, it's from pain. The pain from loud noises and smells. Her house smells like 20 cats urinated in it. She has a problem with her bladder. So old fashioned, she wears my dead father's underwear and it stinks! It literally turns my stomach and I have to hold my nose when I use her bathroom She washes them out and they dry and smell so bad like pee, it gives me an automatic migraine. I just want peace and quiet. Where do I find that? Just at night in my bed. T hat's it. I am also going through menopause . Can't get a good nights sleep. I sweat all night. I take estrogen. Doesn't do much good.
  12. Dear Teacup, I am reading this story and situation and you have my sympathy. I am 58 and was stupid. Got married way to young. I don't know what you can do is just to take it one day at a time. To go off on your own, is tough. I am scared too but I have bills I know I can't pay and would have to go live with my mother and she's no picnic. What I try to do is be tough. I don't cry as much as I used to. And I try to take care of myself. People tell me I'm strong. I don't see it but maybe I am. I will admit I am addicted to tranqualizers. My gyno gives them to me. I take one and zone out. Life is so difficult and then we have this crap to put up with. I am so sorry. Wish I knew what to tell you to do. Vampy
  13. This is going to be a long one but having to get it off my chest, I will do the best I can to explain WHY I really can't leave that abusive husband I have. BTW, he found out about this site and is now playing "nice-nice." but that will not last, I am sure. My mother is 91 years old. She is nearly deaf but refuses to get a hearing aid. And it is making me crazy. I suffer from migraines so when I call her, she turns up the volume on her phone by hitting the buttons and a song ensues. I have learned to put the phone away from my ear so that I don't need to go take a pill. Then you can tell when she doesn't know what you are saying because you will get complete silence and then I know I lost her. She is buddy buddy now with my husband whom she hated for years and tore a part, trash talked and so forth. The reason? he is doing things for her. Stupid things like buying her hamburgers at the local "Greasy Spoon" that she loves. He takes her to the bargain basements. But even though he's being good to her, he refuses to take no money for the things he buys and we do need the money. A little bit here and there is not so bad, and I hate to sound petty, but after a week or so of "favors" it does begin to add up. Example: I was at Target begging him for a Maybelline mascara and he couldn't buy it for me because she asked him to buy her a new frying pan. The frying pan was 15.00 and my mascara would have been 5.00 but she comes first. God forbid she should have the Teflon wear out on her frying pan because her eggs got stuck to it. (hope anyone reading this laughs,) and then she goes and tells him she needs prune juice and she wants the one with the pulp and demands that he get the right one. Another 5.00. What the hell is going on here? And I told him to take the money, that's when she offers it but I think she's getting used to not offering because stupid husband won't take it and there we are. Late on our own bills like silly things, like "I'm going to the ATM because we need gas?" So maybe I sound awful but at least truthful. And she does not have my back, I will tell you that. She is a Budinsky. And she is now defending him for things that he does to me because she needs to stay on his good side. Does this make sense? And all the while, there is a car that she owns sitting in her garage and she claims she is going to drive but never does. I don't want her driving if she is worried she would get into an accident, but for God's sakes, turn in your license. We have one car here. And I cannot work because I have no transportation and was recently offered 2 different jobs I never even applied for. And when I told her all she said was "that would be nice if you could work, you would get away from him for a few hours a day." How do I do that? Fly in my private plane? None of this makes sense. She has become so self centered, selfish and it's all about her. How do you deal with this rubbish? Vampy
  14. Thank you so much for everyone's kind words. They mean a lot to me and make me understand exactly how the "male" mind works. LOL Ran into my cousin that he saw at the funeral yesterday in the mall. She said "Hi" and kept going. Now he's complaining he doesn't know who she is! He just saw her at the funeral for 2 days in a row. And I got bitched at again and just blew it off. As you say "you can't win." And you know something? I'm not trying to win either.
  15. All I can say is good for you! I wish I had the strength but money is always the issue with me. Need health insurance which he pays among other things. God bless you. You sound like you are on your way!