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clurichaun

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About clurichaun

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Not where I belong
  • Interests
    Creation and destruction

Recent Profile Visitors

251 profile views
  1. I went and read it and commented there but I'll say it here too. I know how you feel. It's confusing. and hard to admit to yourself when things go on long enough they seem "maybe" normal. But that is abuse. 100%
  2. I'd read a book if I liked someone and they said it was their favorite. I love reading. I speed read too I've finished trilogies within a week before so I don't think it's weird. I'd love to be able to discuss a book with someone. And then based on how they discuss the characters I'd make a lot of judgements about them lol
  3. Mine always jokes about age even though he's much older than me he calls me old in a fun teasing way so now I do it to him too. He's also always joking about oh well you know how girls are.
  4. I can't wait to get where you are. It's always nice. Until it's really really not.
  5. If you can get far away I would if I was you. If I was as far as not having him living with me I'd pack up a truck and drive east until I get to family.
  6. Take her to the library and look at some abuse books together. Let her know you support her no matter what. If you feel comfortable invite her to join this site to read other stories like hers and see that she doesn't want to get herself back in once she's out.
  7. For england! lolololol Thank you I love our place
  8. The truth is I wish he would hit me. I'm more afraid that he'll do something worse. But I'm a big girl and tough and I want him to hit me. He'll get in my face and scream at me and stand in my way and block me from passing by him. the worst fights I'd stay in his face daring him begging him to just punch me because it would hurt less and I'd have a case against him that i could take to the police.
  9. Thank you. I do try. *Update my car died this morning. I'm even more trapped and behind on every bill he is super supportive and going to help me get through all this. It's another delay. A longer time trapped. But I will try to look into all the things you have all mentioned. We're not married which in a way makes it harder because I can't go to a lawyer and put official paperwork in his face. This is one of those bad weeks. And soon I'll feel that resolve again and I'll follow through. Soon
  10. I know you guys aren't judging me. That's my internal paranoid dialog.
  11. Quaddie: I don't know what step to take next I'm always bad at breaking things down into smaller tasks which is why I'm a terrible housekeeper. Hoping: I know I should go myself. I'm renting but see above, I'm paralyzed by all the steps. I know I have to take one soon. And depression is no joke I hope your treatment is helping. I know this kind of situation does nothing but make it worse. Bennu: I don't have any kids I never did. I have family willing to help but I'm too embarassed to ask for help until I'm willing to take the step to finally get away. They support me no matter what but even here where everyone knows what this feels like I almost feel ashamed of posting about how things are still the same. I'm ashamed that i still haven't done anything because I feel like I'm ignoring everyone's advice. I'm not. I think about all of you and the successes and the choices to endure. I refuse to say failure because I know it's so so so much harder than it looks even when we have similar perspectives it seems so much easier for everyone else. We say "Just do it" "you can do it". And we should never stop encouraging each other. But I somehow turn it into guilt. I tell myself I'm letting everyone down. My inner voice is cruel. At least knowing logically that it's wrong helps. But it's constant. It's like I'm verbally abusing myself in my own head. Now I'm gonna leave work and go home and pretend I'm fine and work on art projects because that's easier than throwing everything into chaos on a Tuesday. Or any week night. Or the weekend when I want to rest. then it's a work night again.....
  12. You thought about me? I hope I was helpful That tends to work for me too but my anxiety takes over sometimes and my brain will shut down. I know I will...I hope soon. I feel like I'm drowning.
  13. Pointing out it's their fault makes us emotionally manipulative. We're verbally abusing them. Obviously.
  14. I hope everything goes smoothly! So proud of you for getting out. I had my chance to speak up last night but I was too scared and clammed up. Stay strong!
  15. You know what they say, "blood is thicker than water." But that's always taken out of context. The whole quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning the people who prove themselves can mean so much more than the people you wound up with by the lottery of birth. Some people are lucky and have supportive families. Other people have to find their chosen families who can end up being more of a family than the one they were born to. Don't let anyone tell YOU who is the best support system for YOU.