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Bennu

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About Bennu

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    Female
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    NY state

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  1. If he is like my ex, he did it deliberately to punish you and her for not putting it away. I don't think that it was unintentional from not caring about others. I think that it was him feeling like you should do things the way he wants and if you don't he has the right to punish you until you do. He just pretended that it was accidental because he doesn't have the nerve to make demands directly.
  2. It is tough to tell. We seemed to get through it and resolve things. Everyone has baggage at this point in life. I have so much I can't blame him for having some too.
  3. You did the right thing. With no spark it wouldn't be any good for either of you. It's perfectly reasonable for him to not be interested in a friendship if he wanted more. I wouldn't. Would you?
  4. Accusing us of creating conflict when we bring up what they said? Do I have another one or am I so afraid of it that I am overanalyzing things. Time will tell. It is confusing, but how much of that is left over baggage from the ex?
  5. Congratulations
  6. Sad

    They may be holding off from too much encouragement until they know for sure that you plan to leave. People in my life became more supportive after I left.
  7. I'm sorry. (((hugs)))
  8. I'm familiar with that behavior too, whitebutterfly. That is exactly what he was doing. It was an intentional put down. I'm glad that you called him out on it.
  9. Getting your stuff out when he isn't around is the easiest. Then just don't come home. He'll figure it out.
  10. That person was a gift providing the support and friendship that you needed at a very difficult time. You were wise to accept the gift. There is no reason for guilt.
  11. Good for you. You are a strong woman.
  12. It's normal. You can do it. I did.
  13. It's two years later and I'm happy. I'm seeing someone and don't feel like I couldn't deal with it if things don't work out. I know I will find someone who is a good fit sooner or later. I'm not going to settle for less than what I need. But, when I left I was a mess. I doubted, I was very anxious, I couldn't sleep, I freaked out at the sign of a car like his, I kept having realizations as I read abuse books, I did some of my own writing, I did some mandala drawing, I had problems finding employment. I had problems with getting triggered at work. It was terribly hard, but I did get through it and I am so glad I did it.
  14. Amen
  15. Good for you. Just keep doing one little thing at a time and it will happen. We are here for you.