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Disco

Member + c
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About Disco

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 07/02/1964

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    Female
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    Oz
  1. ... they DO NOT. Or at least, mine has seemingly NOT. I have gone to write this post a few times recently, but here goes nothing .... I am an old Member of this Forum (and other Forums like it) from many, many years ago. I never thought I'd even be back on this Forum ever again, but something deep within me compels me to write here again. Even if it is only to get it off my chest, and even if this post only serves to help but one person. Not even sure what old Members still post here as I have not checked as yet .... My Brief Backstory: I live in Australia and had an approx; 15 year on and off again relationship with an emotional, verbal and physical abuser. I found the old Cat b ox (Abuse) Forum run by Dr Ir ene (I think it is now defunct) during a period of complete desperation when I was trying to find and fight my way out of a very violent and destructive relationship. I came across it when I was searching for answers. It was during an extremely dark period of my life. Cut to now: After ooooh about 12 years of No Contact whatsoever, my abusive ex, in his infinite wisdom (yeah right! LOL), decides to contact me through Facebook. It was completely out of the blue. I know he has since married and has 2 children with her, and as far as I am aware, they are still together. I had cut ties with all of our mutual friends back in Sydney many moons ago, as that felt right for me to do at the time. I had seen his profile appear on my "People You May Know" list, but I was NEVER going to contact him again! We apparently still have a link from the past through me reconnecting with old friend/s on there, OR, he just decided to look me up. Regardless, after almost throwing up my guts for half an hour after getting his message, I thought I would do the *right* thing and let bygones be bygones and reply to him. I remained civil (even jovial) in chat, and so did he (to be fair) ... and to cut a very long story short - after a few short but sweet exchanges over a couple of weeks, he clearly got (or did not get) what he wanted (whatever that was), he then promptly Blocked me for no reason! WTH!? People - do yourself a favour, leave the past in the past if you do manage to get out of an abusive relationship. If they do ever contact you again through social media or whatever, block them. I know many people do remain in, and they may have continuing ties that bind them forever (like children) but that was not for me, in the end, it was not be as I made other choices. The abuse basically sent me bonkers and I still deal with the negative effects of it all to this very day. I should have cut my losses years before actually, but it is what it is. I have been seeing the same Therapist every now and then, through Victims Of Crime, over the years (from the time we parted company back in about 2003, but contact with him dragged out to about 2005 I think it was). So Therapist says: "So, D, what are you going to do if he should contact you ever again?" Me: "Err, block him!" ..... ... stick a fork in me, I am well and truly done THIS time! UGH! They simply do not change - the Control issues etc are all still there it appears. I am far from being a perfect human being, and not sure what life has in store for me in future, but one thing is for sure, I never want him in my life again regardless of any enduring feelings I may still have for him. Cheers, D.
  2. "What if i'm not always the victim?" I think that's where many of us started from. Look, I don't know your story, but if you are not seeing a Therapist now, I think you should be seeking one out, even before trying to self-diagnose yourself through the many self-help books available out there on the market, is my advice. Start there and work your way up/out. If you don't know how to find a Therapist then ask how to do that ....
  3. What? So you always, ultimately, leave your ball in the other person's court, to do whatever they want with it? More to the point: whenever they want ... Don't you ever, at some point, want to take some kind of total personal responsibility for yourself and want control back over you to say: "No" or "Yes" for yourself over your own life outcomes and your own destiny, no matter what they may say or do? I mean, it is YOUR life ... is it not?
  4. So sad to read abuse still happening all around, so sad ... I hardly have words :(

    1. Chloe

      Chloe

      Couldn't agree more :( ((( D )))

  5. Well, you have a friend who dogged you, sadly, hate to point out the obvious
  6. AG I just hope you sort it out, Sweetie. Whomever is doing this to you Online is 'muck' IMO. x D
  7. It seems this fake is close at hand, IMO. Just from what I have gleaned. Auslan, have you discovered who it is yet? D
  8. Ask around (well, that's what I did) & you will work it out I'm sure. D
  9. Oi! Curly! I'm Disco now, not DMC! LOL Auslan, Hun, you have a stalker on Facebook (obviously). But you already know that I think. I replied back to the 'fake you' on Facebook and they replied back to me. So, they are active on that (your) account. English does not appear to be their first language though. I think you should report it to Facebook & make your profile private on there until you sort it all out. It seems they know a bit? about you too. I dunno, if it happened to me I would do some investigating to find out who it is ... but that's just me. I reported & de-friended this account BTW. Cheers D
  10. Ta, have not been around these parts for a while Oh good news then, Chinacat, very good news, I'm happy for her! D
  11. He sounds controlling, are you still with him now? Why? (I'm not going to ~beat around the bush~ here ..... You have to weigh these things up IMO .... Why are you still with him/what is the pay off for you, honestly?) D
  12. You guys are not coming from the same 'place' it seems to me, atleast on this point. And that could very well be OK .... but .... I imagine this is not just a ~one of~. What other areas do you disagree on? And how do you both handle that/ & what is the outcome of that, or how do those disagreements generally go and end up? D
  13. This has been all over the news/current affairs here (in Australia) also lately ..... I don't know what to make of it myself. I can see the good(?) & bad(?) points of it myself .... but yikes ... just yikes!
  14. To my Dear and fabulous friend Chloeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I hope you have a faaabulous day Darlink and a very special day at that (this is a "biggie"), Sweetie. So, welcome to the 'Fab40's'! I think you know how wonderful and special I think you are by now! But here are some cute pics just incase you don't! Much D
  15. Exactly, MG! ONE ... count it .... X D