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Narcissist are very self-centered people. The governor was one. They want power and control and if we don't agree with their decisions, we are wrong in their mind, and they don't seem to care what we want or think. They seem to think they are smarter than us. My EX at times would ask or give me what I wanted in a small dose as a bargaining chip to get larger things for himself. Mostly would write my needs on a list and put them at the top to pretend I was number one. He would tell people I was number one which was a lie. He would ignore those request and do his other lower numbers wanted task from his list first. I was a number in his business schedule, not a wife! Letting me feel like he cares might make him feel like he is good and helpful. His actions were very far from caring and I was written on a false list of care. I could not fix it but I can heal from it. It called Narcissist abuse and I am a survivor learning to thrive and feel alive.
He does things that make me try to burn with anger and fury on the inside. It's like you want to just drop it all to feel peace. When you briefly let go you go along with it and for a short time actually, believe you have peace because you're not in turmoil. Really it's lost in his identity and you feel like you have a mate but it not that either, it's you coping. I believe that this is the mechanism that has kept me, hostage, all these years. His way to keep me in control and what has been my Stockholm Syndrom Achilles heel. The internal conflict he creates will never be resolved because of it's his own self-creation. He does not even know what it is? He does know what he is but holds out and keeps it all locked away. There is an area of their heart that you can't touch. It's a black pandora's box!