Well. I have a new life now. Sort of...
I got rid of the most evil person I have met in my life. And, Dear Reader? I have met a lot of bad people. This one I invited to my bed and into my life.
When did the abuse start? I know when it ended. It ended on September 27, 2011 when I told him not to come back to Georgia because I had to sort out my head over the past abuse which he never really acknowledged. Blame? It is the abuser's lover. You think you had a spot in his life? no, No, NO! They will blame you for everything until you leave them then they sort of apologize, then blame, then break down, then stalk you, then blame, then you see the cockroach that slept next to you.
I found out he was a felon a few months after I dated him then he committed the same felonies against me. And, the only regret I have now? I don't know? Would I have put him back behind bars? Well. Now. Absolutely.
I was this one thing and now I have become another. It's like the "elephant in the room" that no one sees. I want to be her but I am me. Nightmares. Anger. Hate. Attempting forgiveness. Mad. Anger. Journaling to uncover the lies. Broken. Surviving.
I decided I am writing a book. It will be called 365 Days because I managed to escape that quickly. I remember prior to boarding his boat having a premonition smoking a cigarette and one year to the day standing outside the Women's Recourse Center in Decatur, Georgia smoking another cigarette remembering it all.
How did I escape? I quit believing his lies about who he is and "that's just WHO YOU ARE!". I saw things for some reason as they were and not through the filter of his mind.
I will be whole but I seriously know he will assault another woman again. And, for that I have guilt that I did not stop him when I had the chance.
I will be whole but sometimes every night when I can't get over it I wonder when? i have broken up with a lot of guys. This one rearranged the furniture in my head.