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Ellin Grey's Blog

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Sound and fury signifying nothing



I have an online blog that is fairly boring; it's really just a recitation of my trips to the Post Office and what I did that day. When I broke up with the abuser in December 2010, she started visiting it obsessively, upwards of 10-30 times a day, and it made me very nervous, so I moved it and completely deleted anything from the url where the journal had been originally.

Then a friend of mine who very rarely reads my blog but occasionally pops by pinged me, saying “Hey, where did your blog go?” I realized that removing it completely from the /wordpress url meant that there are people whom I would be glad to have reading, but who wouldn’t necessarily know how to reach me if they went by the old url and found a 404. So I setup a basic this-blog-has-moved-here’s-the-contact-email page, and, being the paranoid sort convinced that J can’t leave me alone, I put some statcounter code on it. Sure enough, within 10 minutes of the page going up I had a hit from her.

I guess my point is that it doesn’t matter how much J might rant in her journal about never wanting to see me again and saying that she’s posting private emails and mean things to keep us away. The fact is she is dying to know where I'm writing now and will obsessively check that url in the hopes that something substantial will one day be there. Admittedly, that’s no different than her behavior during the first 9 months of the breakup, but it puts the lie to her posturing this past week. (And no, I haven’t been reading anything by her. This is all based on the last reports from a friend before we mutually agreed that having icepicks in our brains wasn’t fun.)

So, given this information, I am remaining on Homeland Security Threat Level Orange. My finger is hovering over the delete-permanently button as I wait for a nastygram to come in.


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