I've been trying to maintain the peace, but am finally at my wits end. After a week of being sick with a nasty head cold, I'm fed up with his selfish behavior.
After another blow up, tears, etc...he did offer an apology for his behavior in front of D6 - he said he apologized to her - I wasn't there so just have to take him at his word.
I should have journaled/blogged at the time, but he said he was sorry for lashing out - I told him I wasn't sorry for callnig his actions selfish, but was sorry for some of the other unkind comments I made.
I know I said I don't interfere with his hunting stuff - but between the $$ and the time away from home, I'm frustrated and sad.
All I asked was for him to get the wrapping paper from the attic. We don't have a pull down ladder to get up there - you have to set up a step ladder and climb in. 11 days from Christmas and I don't have access to the wrapping paper - something he normally pulls down and puts in our room when we get the tree out. Can't this year b/c he has tubs of clothes & his hunting stuff spread through-out - there is barely enough room to get around. So I asked Wednesday if he could pull it down so I could get started Thursday - went with D6 on her field trip and knew I would have a couple hours free. So yesterday, I call him, knowing he was home - ask if he's going hunting and get some smart-@$$ response...then ask if he can pull out the wrapping paper and catch a load of hell - he tells me it's right at the edge of the attic...D15 & I should be able to get it on our own.
Maybe we can, you pathetic excuse for a human being - but you KNOW I don't like climbing up there & we shouldn't be making D15 do it either. It would have taken less than 5 minutes of his time to get it out. But no - he was on his way to meet his hunting buddy who was waiting for him & that was too much time to take away from where HE needed to be.
He has done NOTHING for the holidays this year. He's done nothing but hunt every Saturday and every afternoon he gets off early enough to go.
I've gotten no help shopping for the girls this year - I've done it all. After getting on him last night, he did throw the wrapping paper in the hallway and wrapped a handful of small gifts - after I did the majority of it that afternoon with a couple new rolls of paper I bought.
He says "well, you've told me you already bought everything!"
Yes, I have b/c you're never home.
He tells me "well, you keep telling me there is no $$"
Well jack@$$, there isn't b/c you spent over $1,500 on hunting stuff.
Now, he got a 'real' bonus from his job - enough to put a dent in what we are suppose to be buying for the 'house' this Christmas - of course, I got what HE asked for...I doubt I'll get what I actually NEED b/c of the $$ we have to spend on this purchase...mostly b/c he's decided to earmark his bonus check (that would cover MOST of the 'house' purchase) for some hunting clothes. Over $400 worth of hunting clothes.
I feel like a sulky little kid - I feel like if I got a nice Christmas bonus, I would put it towards what we need for the house - not for myself.
So now I'm all bitter about his bonus check. It's HIS check - he earned it...I just look at things so differently. I would never just spend something like that on myself - maybe a little - but most would go to my kids..or the house...or bills...or paying my dad back...but none of that matters to him.
I feel so stupid complaining about stuff like this when people are losing their kids, their homes, their jobs...it seems so selfish...but my heart is breaking - and knowing me, I'll just eat the pain & suck it up and deal with this cr@p.